Sparkle In the Year 2006

Moved to a NEW BLOG...

2008-01-31T03:38:00.000+08:00

MOVED TO A NEW BLOG...

Dear Friends,

Fear not, I haven't disappeared..

Indeed, haven't blogged for ages. Now, the feeling of blogging is back. Haha!
However, I have decided to start a new blog for a new year, since the time lapse is like sooo long..

If you would like to know about my whereabouts or to keep in contact with me.. Then feel free to read my new blog entries @:http://www.i-havesomething2say.blogspot.com

Taipei Madness: 25-30th June 06 - Part 2

2006-07-17T04:30:00.000+08:00

Taipei Madness: 25-30th June 06 - Part 2

* Hee, below I go on ah, I must credit Wendy Lim first ah. Me quite lazy n got s.t.m la, so at times content is 'kidnapped' from her blog & also from comments from Fang, Cheryl etc. Plus plus my own comments lor. Hehe!

Day 2

Our 1st nite we really eat like we haven't eaten before in our lives like that. Our poor stomach haven't really digest finish ah, considering our supper noodles at like 4am. We all hor, next morning went to eat dan bing. Ha, this time we each one ordered one leh, bit siao la considering the amt we ate last nite. Me ate the rou song dan bing, quite hard to digest leh, i left a bit lor. After eating that, ha Wei & Cheryl felt quite err cos the dan bing like stuck in their chest through the day then they wanna puke. Then we somemore ordered like 7 cups of dou nai to drink. Ha, for some strange reason hor, it tasted like cigarette-flavour soya bean, got the ashed taste. I felt it was quite err, but hor we all find it weird n strange yet all of us finish drinking it somemore. Haha, who is more strange here ah, the drink or us? Hehe!

Our Breakfast Pics:

Our Day 2 & 3 & Last Day Breakfast Place - Ha, but we eat different things each day la. Auntie here knows Jimmerline leh, so hor got free Dan Bing n Fan Duan somemore..

Dan Bing In Pan.. its in progress to be eated by us!

Gals with the Ashed-Soyabean Drink

After eat until damn full ah, we went to the "Zhong Zhen Ji Nian Tang" to go see Chiang Ka Chiek?? Haha! Wah, siao lor the weather its sooo super sunny n damn hot that day. I must be mad or that my mind juices all use to digest supper till I dun know why will choose to wear a Black t-shirt out somemore, make myself laggi hot. We like bbq pigs under the hot hot sun, then we went to climb 'mountain' somemore leh, up that dun 80plus plus steps up. Aiyo, by the time reach the top really wanna faint liao, leg sour sour like dun belong to me le. Haha, Wendy n Fang was like "He Ping Yi Yuan" very near, they wanna go diao dian di. Hahahaha! U can imagine how hot a not? We really like going to zhong shu, even we had auto-mini fans with us also no use lor.

Zhong Zhen Ji Nian Tang Pics:

4 Gals @ the Zhong Zeng Ji Nian Tang!

Our Distorted Tree Pic -- Look @ how long our Hands are & I look like my Head n Body's seperated!

Me, Cheryl, Shufang, Wendy!

Got drop by a few bookstores thereafter, cos me got mission to buy books for dearest Jeanie lor. Wah, she give me the booklist like want me to buy the whole store come back like that, but hor her books really hard to find lor, went to a few stores still bo de. Only thing good is ah bookstores got aircon lor, otherwise really can die.

Ha, we like skipped lunch all still trying to digest the morning's dan bing ma. We had tea break instead at Taipei 101, then back to our favourite activity -- 7 pple Share Food! Haha! Want to earn our money really bu rong yi leh, but not say we cheapskate la, just that share food somemore I find the food like taste nicer leh, also get to try more types ma. Better than stomache storage all store 1 type of food so wu qu lor. Aiya, all my wai li but actually u think about it is you li one leh. Haha! We ordered one hotplate of noodles to share eat. Then me wanna eat ice-cream, love the qing-ren guo flavour from supper and see the cone got so many colours hor, so bought one then all share share eat with noodles. Best is, we share share, share right infront of the lao pang niang selling the hotplate, then hor we took quite alot of chopsticks somemore. Haha!

Taipei 101: We came here just to have a look look & to makan..

Our Big Hotplate of Noodles - Nice to eat leh! Haha, this is where all 7 pple attack 1!

Ha, on Jetstar flight to Taipei we also sama sama, order 1 plate of noodles then pass around like playing pass the puzzle like that around to 7pple then pass back, quite fun like that. Haha! But, seriously la, that chilli fish rice that sir order later really nice to eat leh, got pass around one round ma.

Next stop was Wu Fen Pu, shopping time! Ha, Wendy lim like opening T-shirt shop like that, she really bought alot of t-shirt thoughout the whole trip. Haha, but me also very kong bu la, I see see nice necklace, earings, bracelets, clothes then buy non-stop, just 2nd day already bought like 2pairs each. Well, as long as the lao ban let me 'decide' the pricing then okay I happy then I buy lor. Haha! Quite like terriorist leh. Also dun know how come my skin suddenly become so thick like that, is it Taipei's weather ah? But, really quite cheap thrill la, n my gong li at cutting price only get better by the day.. Haha!

Ha, shop shop liao ah, we change location to Rao He. There our stomache demanding for food again. Haha, so we went to eat dinner lor, this time is go eat lu rou fan, then Fang & I shared soup dong feng, cos we didn't want to eat rice lor. Ha, wah.. the bowl very mini lor, the big bowl also look like for baby to eat only leh. Cheryl & Wei wanted to share a small bowl of lu rou fan cos their dan bing still stuck midway in them. The Aunty like shocked so small bowl still wanna share ah? Really funny lor the look on her face, see le really want to laugh. 'Then Hanwei so funny go ask the Aunty got kopi a not when she asked if we want drinks. The aunty was like huh? Wat the heck is kopi, Hahaha!' We really is go until where also gao xiao until where lor. Hehe!

Lu Rou Fan -- Look at the contrast in Size. Left side is Small & Right side is Big! But, really is big meh?

Think we full hor? Ha, after that half- walk n shop half see xiao chi then buy and share somemore, we got eat the fried chocolate etc etc. Weather so hot, Bing is like a must eat desert lor. So, we sat down to induge in eating bing again. This time eat Mang Guo Bing. Bit different from first nite de, in terms of the texture of the bing, n this time the mango got more! Sweet & Sour really nice to eat leh. Very shuang lor, cooling leh.

The Delicious Man Guo Bing!

Jimmy infront of Fried Chocolate Stall

Gals Eating Ah Zhong Mian Xian.. got xin fu the gan yue ma?

After walk a while more we took cab back to Ximending Area, then contiue shopping there. Sir wanted to find the Da Ge Da shop, in the end that shop close le ah, end up we eating again leh. This time is buy 3 bowls of Ah Zhong Mian Xian to share share eat. Come to think abt it ah, we really like 70% of the time eating one leh, quite scary lor, but satisfying la, I very happy lor. Haha! But, really is very bian tai leh. Considering ah, this day really is like eat alot lesser than yesterday. After we eat finish liao, we went to find where is the nearest massage to our hotel, check rates n all, sir & hw wanna do ma, then we all did it too on the 3rd day. Then hor, all cannot tahan liao, our backs, legs, neck all on verge of breaking! Haha!

Anyway, on the way finding places, my eyes quite busy leh. Me saw quite a number of objects I want to buy le leh, just never stop but I know later or next few days sure will walk back then I buy, and indeed so. I'm quite a shopperholic la, esp. when overseas. Haha! Hmm, the "Wa Wa Shop" at first is cos got this top I spoted then later went in to buy, thereafter all went in and bought alot of accessories. Then, my instintive reaction of on-ing my 'tao jia huan jia' button is back, hahaha.. In this shop Fang saw alot of necklaces, bracelets she like n wanna buy, like all of us also got buy at least 1 items like that, so even better, haha.. buy more than i chop more on the prices. Not bad leh, bargain bargain also can ren shi ren, Xiao Ting that girl really nice n very sweet lor. For the remaining days there, we came back to this 'Wa Wa Shop' almost daily cos always will pass-by anyway ma. Haha, but is cos we got other agenda we wanna find out more about la. Hehe! But, I managed to find out bits n pieces here n there..only ke xi this flower is taken le lor.

The nite still young to us, haha, when most of the shops shut down le ah, we still did not have enough fun lor. So we this group of bian tais decided to go terrorise the arcade store n staff, we went in and played the machines to "catch" soft toys. Wah Cheryl really very tokong lor, she catch n catch like nobody's business like that. But think the arcade stuff buay tahan us lor, they wanna close liao, we still there making alot of noise n jumping everytime the toy drop. Then diao diao diao non-stop. Better still, go ask the "shuai ge" to bang mang open the machine and put the toys easier to diao dao somemore. Haha! We reali da feng shou lo, amongst our "earnings" are 8 donuts which we decided to do something to the Donuts n keep it as a memento of our trip. Hehe! This hor, started our diao-ing ying, where later not only Cheryl expert ah, Jimmerline n Hanwei also very good lor. Haha, as for me I still better off at asking "shuai ge" to help us open machine la. But dun think wrong hor. Haha! So, we really very scary lor. At the end of our trip I think we all combine at least got like 40-50 soft-toys lor.

Cheryl's Victory Catches! - Nite 1 - Our Ma Zai Er Gui & the Start of Diao Diao Diao..

See what I mean by the madness only intensify by the day? Haha! Alot more Madness and Bian Tianness is yet to be seen on the 3rd Day...

Taipei Madness, 25-30th June 06 - Part 1

2006-07-16T02:35:00.000+08:00

Taipei Madness, 25-30th June 06 - Part 1

Day 1:

Hehe, I shall start of by displaying our first nite's food, at Shi Lin Ye Shi. The xiao chi that we ate, though got some never take pic. cos too we like hungry ghost ma, so before that photo already inside our stomache le. Haha, we really ate alot, drank alot somemore. Hmm, got dun know how many cups of Almond Drink, Plum Drinks etc. Warning first ah, see le u sure will be hungry de, so get ready food stock then view ya. Haha!

Da La Liang Mian - Spicy wor, Turn your lips to Sausages! Shiok to eat!

Mushrooms, Meat - Tian Bu La, yummy leh!

Chao Da Ji Pai, this store very long que!

Chong You Chao Shou - Nice to eat!

Me Eating Tian Bu La Corn - Taste bit sweet, salty, spicy! All mix into 1!

HW Eating Zhu Xue Gao - Gross? Haha, nan wang taste indeed! But, try once enough le..

4 Gals with Fang Eating Strawberry Bing Tang Hu Lu - Yummy leh!

Fang Feeding me Chou Dou Fu - Ha, it actually taste quite nice leh!

Chocolate Bing with Egg Pudding - Milky n Smooth Ice!

Hong Dou Bing with Egg Pudding- A bit too Sweet for my liking.. but pple with Sweet tooth will like it:)

Mixed Fruit Bing - Got Strawberry, Mango, Kiwi: Sweet & Sour with milky Bing, I like this one!

Our Supper - Taiwan Magi Mee, 1 of the 3 we ate! Piggy hor? Hehe!

Ha, we reached Taipei on Sunday evening, so took the "feigou" - flying dog bus to our Hotel - "Rainbow Hotel, Can Hong" at Ximending Area. Ha, I find the bus name quite cute lor. Wah, weather at Taipei really damn hot. Then guess what on the bus, Cheryl, Wendy n I three of us have to squeeze into a seat meant for two people, just becos the bus is overcrowded. Luckily the journey wasn't too long lor. Ha, the uncle should refund us $$ leh, cos we paid for 3 pple but only take up seats for 2. Uncle where is our refund? Next time we go, got 1 free ticket is it? Like Cheryl said at Wendy's blog: "We got photos wei zheng hahaha!"

Its my first time going to Taipei, same for Cheryl n HW, lucky got our "tour-leader", Wendy ah. She very good la, help us with the check in to hotel n bring us to the places, cos she been there 4th time liao. Anyway, we just checked into our hotels n put things down, rest a while then run out liao. Haha, cos we all very hungry liao so we take the "Jie-yun (MRT)" to Shi-Lin Nite Market and went to look for the ma la liang mian n eat xiao chi also. We ate the famous ma la liang mian, this one got different degree of hotness from xiao la, zhong la, da la, chao la, kuang la. Most of us ate da la, wah.. really is hot leh, stomache bit like on fire, yet hor no fire-engine nearby to put off fire leh. Haha! So hor, Fang, Wendy n I, we went to source for our own extinguisher, bought alot of drinks lor. Meanwhile, the rest ordered a chao la to try, haha.. all our lips become like xiang chang lips liao. So red n thick, but really very shiok to eat!

On the way of cos got just stop and shop and buy things (eg. accessories, t-shirts etc) lor. Just in a while of pass-by stores, me already bought quite a number of things liao. Then start my bargaining, dun know how come that button of 'Tao Jia Huan Jia' just auto on lor. Hehe! But, not me alone buy alot, the rest also got buy some just not as kong bu as I la. Haha!

After that we went to the other side to eat the big big ji pai, xiang chang, chou dou fu, mang guo bing, peanut bing, more drinks etc etc etc. We just simply cannot resist the many many food stalls and xiao chi that we saw lor. So buy buy buy non-stop then all share share to eat. Really hard to count how many items we ate that nite leh, cos really alot, like more than our stomaches can store. We hor, started eating from like 8pm-4am leh. Not bluff u one, really lor. After our food-spree n shopping spree at Shi Lin ah, we took cab back to our hotel, yet later we still went to eat leh..

We are like one group of hungry ghost isn't it? Haven't eaten for days like that. But hor at 3am me still hungry wanna go for supper, plus got some other also hungry le? So we went to 7-11 downstairs to buy bowl noodles n 1 Qing Ren Guo ice-cream to eat! Hehe! Piggy la, can't be helped. Middle of nite, 4am we all still making noises, laughing away eating our noodles. Really horrible hor? But, eat liao I feel very satisfied leh, & its a luxury to be eating comfortably in the nice hotel room. Hahahaha!

Yet, I know somemore surely not satisfied leh. Who ah? Hmmm.. the hotel lobby person looking after the place lor. That poor guy ah, got shocked from us, cos we come back from 7-11. He also very ke lian la, this hour is suppose to be chat with Zhou gong, but we rou his qing meng. Then he in shock like zombie like that jump up leh. Quite funny lor, we see liao laugh even more. He saw its us, this siao group of pple not ghost ha, then went back to find his zhou gong liao. Haha! But, this type of rou ren qing meng acts we did it everynite till we left the hotel, cos we everynite also must eat supper if not then come back late late, laugh laugh then go back room to party somemore. Hahaha!

Only can say sorry to them le lor, they hor not lucky meet us this group of bian tais, who are like siao langs who escaped from Spore's siao lang geng, then all take Jetstar Asia fly go taipei to zhuo ruan like that. Who knows ah, Taipei's siao lang geng full house, cannot take us in so hor we go on their streets n hotels n display our siaoness lor. Hahaha! So think their peace only managed to return after we fly back home, but surely we brought them some joy too hor? Hoho!

The Madness is to be contiued..it only get more intensive.. Haha!

Some Updates..

2006-07-15T01:11:00.000+08:00

Just some Updates first..June-July

Wah, haven't blogged since my laptop MIA, then quite a no. of my friends ask me where I dissappeared to, or me MIA ah? Haha, okay so just to sum up some of my updates, n some reminders for myself..

Lets see, in the month of June. Wah, that has been a really busy month wor. Earning big bucks? Haha, no la.. Even have hor, alot spent in Taipei liao la. But really is got alot alot of tuition to give lor, most of the days were like 3 or 4 tuitions in a day. Very brain tiring, cos mostly is JC2 students as they are having their term exams at the end of that June -- thats the time where I go on my holiday. Hehe! But, my hardwork got quite satisfying results I must say, I'm proud of my students. Very happy for them, they did well for their C Math's Term Exam, alot of improvement esp. for some. Of which, Rayna n Huileng whom I agreed to teach just for 2 months, both passed their Maths this time, their first pass since JC1 acc. to them, from 20marks to E/D grade I think thats good le, esp. since I only teach them for 8 lessons covering almost the all the topics.

Okok, I worked so hard for the whole month, of cos I took a break at the end of June, from 25-30th. Hehe, went for the best, most fun ever trip to Taipei. Its my first time there. Thats really a very very unforgettable trip, its a go with friends of 7 trip, a eat eat eat, shop shop shop, and be siao siao trip. Haha! Really la, I never felt a trip would have been so great n fun before, really very enjoy, and I got alot of gains from the trip wor. Haha, my skin gone alot thicker through the trip, a little can't believe i'm actually quite good at bargaining? Hoho! Went there with an 11kg luguagge, came back with a 24kg check-in luguagge n a super heavy hand carry. Oh, can u imagine how much I bought? Hehe, like enough to set of a shop to sell various things leh, got clothes, shorts, skirts, necklaces, earings, rings, bags, books, lots n lots of food, cute stuff n soft-toys etc. Really is da feng shou, actually me still wanna buy more leh, but luguaage already over-weight so bo bian got to stop. Hehe, really is got alot to say about this trip.. tai tai tai hao wan le! We took like close to 1000 pics. n some very interesting videos, haha there were 6 cameras, me alone took 200plus.. Will blog about it in details later.. haha, actually Wendy already blogged about it, maybe will link it to hers, if me lazy. Haha!

Come back from taipei got 2 weeks le, but still feeling quite high n in holiday mood to work. But, of cos is got go teach tuition, just alot more slack than last month. Wah, go one trip only I gain 1kg leh. Haha, u can imagine how much we eat there ma? Really alot alot, the xiao chi very nice ma. Now everynite really is a must eat supper leh, if not really can't sleep. Opps, I think i'm really very piggy leh. How ah? Chilli, spicy food now has become my daily wants too leh. All fault of the da/chao la leng mian we had at Taipei on the first nite there at the Shilin ye shi. Haha! But, really very xiang nian that leh. Its really spicy n gives us have xiang chang mouth, but really very shiok to eat! Oh, I just simply love food there, and oh where is my peanut Bing?

Wah, lucky the taipei trip was so GREAT! Like that then i won't feel that pity missing one of my other holiday trip to Bangkok, which was suppose to be in mid June the wk before going Taipei. Everything was paid, this one is a big family trip. Who knows ah, the stupid travel agency, the one at Pple's Park @ Chinatown will close down, and guy ran away with our money -- $5000plus leh for 13 tickets. Wah, really is horrible lor, somemore the person is Uncle's Steven's friend. Poor uncle really felt very betrayed n guilty for our missed trip. But, of cos not his fault la, who hope this will happen leh. But, maybe really not meant to be that we go Bangkok this year. By right, this trip suppose to be in April, then there was riots and chaos there due to elections so we postpone it to later, then so happen Ah Gong passed away, then delay trip to mid-june, then the stupid agent pao lu with our money. So still is cannot go! Treat it as po cai dang zai ba..

Nevertheless, never go Bangkok in June. This coming Friday (21/7)- Sunday (23/7), me will be going to Berjaya Redang Beach Resort @ Redang Island, Terengganu, Malaysia. Sounds good hor? Yeah, its that beach where they film the chinese moive, Xia Re Mo Mo Cha. After watching that moive always felt like going. Hehe, this time its going with Jeanie, Joanna, Uncle Steven n Aunt Sandra. Jeanie has been wanting to go to Beach Resort so finally her wish is granted le. Ha, to me I just love going on holiday, really good to go relax relax before school starts on 7Aug la. Wah, time very fast hor so fast my long long holiday ending le. I really love life this 6 months leh, be tutor life better than be student. Haha, less stress n got income to spend n eat eat eat! Hoho! But, this trip will be more of the laz around, relax relax different from the Taipei type of enjoy. Surely I guess I will love the place too, cos I luv nature, the sounds of the sea n peace!

This month of July ah, I wanted to go for the Business Camp de, but aiya the letter they sent when i was in Taipei, by the time i come back n sent the reply already bit late, but i still got send la. Haha, but hor the camp so hot till no space for me, so I'm not going le. Nvm lor, like that my shedule won't be so packed also, if not then wah camp come back, next day go Redang very tiring leh. Haha, is this to an wei myself? Well, I'm not the love to go camping sort, infact i'm the opposite group leh. Just that, in Biz school, my friends all not there, so by go for the camp n ren shi more pple also not bad ma, then have fun too. Nevertheless, there is always the hostel camp in 1st wk of Aug which got Janice n I are thinking of going, so sama sama ba. Okok, reminder that dateline is 24July, I must remember to pass Janice my application tmr afternoon, if not miss again.

Last reminder, me must go back to ACJC before 21July to collect my A Level Cert. Aiya,its very far leh, me really lazy to travel all the way there just to get a paper. Yet, if I go after 21July, then got to pay what $10 for late collection, which is like siao ah. So, I better go there before i go Redang lor.

Really is left 2 weeks of holiday le, why time must pass so fast leh? Hehe, I bit look forward towards Uni-life, excited to see how's its different from the past, yet dragged the exams, study study that will stress me out again. Mao dun feeling lor. But, I do look forward with hostel life though, but will like a not must try le then will know ba.

This 2 months, the happiest thing to me is I got go Taipei with Cheryl, Fang, Wendy they all. The thing that upset me most, think its that letter from NTU stating how my appeal from Biz to Accountancy is not successful. But, at least I tried to appeal le, results not I can control one. Hmmm.. okay I must accept the results, n study hard do well in 1st year then maybe if then my yi zhi to wanna do Accountancy still as strong as now end of 1st year, I will try to change course again ba. Maybe, I should see this as a motivating factor for me to excel. Ha, hua bei fen wei li liang, I did that in Sec1, I should be able to do that again hor?

Yeah! My Laptop's Back!

2006-07-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

Yeah! My Laptop's Back!

Finally finally, after close to 2 months of waiting, my laptop finally back! Ha, finally its no longer MIA, so I'm back blogging also. Haha!

Goodness, to get this precious laptop back ah, really very xin ku. Alot of accidents and delay, tmr tmr tmr tmr, I dun know how many tmr the person promised me yet delayed at the end of the day. From 25May where I sent it to Challenger trying to ask for a replacement key of my letter 'A'. Little did I expect my laptop send to 'hospital - HP' it will not return to me le. I did not backup my documents for the past 6 months. Lucky, the challenger person help me with that, but nevertheless he missed out some stuff. But, some is better than none.

In mid June, after a month of waiting HP decided to compensate me a brand new laptop of my model, cos they do not have the letter 'A' key to replace for me. Ha, I so happen to have bought the white limited edition (HP Compaq Presario B2813TX) of Compaq last december, thats why my repair so super long. But, who knows even new one also must wait somemore.. Aiyo.. I go taipei and come back ah, still waited for like 2 weeks then finally got it back.

My this laptop de lai bu yi, really must hao hao zhen xi and hopefully it won't die on me again. Anyway, my old one i took very good care of it, very shocked how come will have problems lor. I really love this model of my laptop. Its so pretty with good specs. Thats why even when Challenger said that with further delay, they will compensate me another model of laptop of my choice of same price or up to 3% more butI still decided I want back the same model lor. Haha, I very chi qing hor?

But, really this is a very nice to use and very pretty laptop as long as it function. See the picture below, then u know what i mean le.

All agreed upon, I will get my laptop on 5 July, with HP compensating me with an addition of an optical mouse, norton virus software for 1 yr, and a backup cd sort of programme. Yet, the promise was not delieverd only delayed, with excuse of the need to do a diagonic test. Goodness, I was really mad with HP.

Thereafter, HP probelem settled le, become the challenger person delay the return of my laptop, with more of personal issues, of health reasons and friend's accident in JB. I can't really tell if this reasons are true or made up, but felt if really true and i inist on him not going its not really nice. So, delay day after day.

Joanna say I should not be so nice, but be more forceful at asking for the return of my laptop, if not threaten the person should he delay further. Finally, I also ren wu ke ren le. Everytime he say, oh tonite 7pm I will deliever your laptop to my house, I had to change and reshedule alot of my tuition timing, yet in the end its all false alarm. Really too much lor, and like that i felt very bad towards my students yet get very dissappointed at the end of the day also.

So Wednesday nite, after returning from the very interesting dinner at Bie Fu (Haha, might blog abt it later, but maybe quite gross also). I really thought it will be the last delay ever, who knows the moment I got onto the MRT at Chinatown an sms came, it was the challenger person, he said his friend had an accident at JB and so he got to rush down. He already like that say, if real how can i inist on him delivering the laptop, so delay again. Hai!

Return home, Jeanie & Joanna all say he bluff one la, where got so qiao always got things pop out one. True, it seem that he had give me alot of excuses..aiya, I dun know true a not also. End up, later really think and think, I really cannot stand waiting le. I did tell him, I die also must get back the laptop that Wed. So I called him, and ask him to how also find a way to give me the com. earlier. Jeanie & Joanna were right, if being so nice and patient in waiting got no returns, maybe I should have been more forceful in demanding.

Late close to 11.30pm, I went with Joanna going with me and Dad fetching us there to Tiong Bahru to get my laptop back from him. Actually, by right I can demand that he deliver it to my house, cos its him that delayed. But, thinking that he got to go back to JB after passing me the laptop I thought nvm lor, as long as I can get my laptop back, then I will just travel la.

Yup, so so Finally I got back my laptop. Plus, I got a Webcam & Mic. for free! But, really its a very long delay. To be frank, I am very dissappointed with HP's service and upset with the challenger person's delay, though he had very good service at the start.

But nevertheless, its really good to have my beloved laptop back! Yeah!

Its NTU.. I've Decided!

2006-05-19T01:30:00.000+08:00

Its NTU.. I've Decided!

Where I want to go when Uni-starts, well this kinda headache question I've resolve le. Or should I say my 3 letters of acceptance kind of decided for me where I should go. Yup, applied to all 3 Uni, with Accountancy as my 1st choice in all 3 applications, followed by Business 2nd, and Arts & Social Sciences 3rd.

Sadly, none of the uni actually gave me my first choice. Actually, since the business interview for SMU and NTU I already knew this reality le. But, to console myself a bit, think I'm considered fortunate le. At least all 3 schools offered me a course, there are some which have no offers at all lor. Well, in the end, NTU offered me a place in Business, while NUS & SMU both offered me a place in Arts and Social Sciences. NUS was the last letter I receive, this was the letter that sort of fixed my decision as to where I want to go..

I've choosen NTU Business and just 2 days ago I've accepted it on the joint admission and rejected the other 2 places. Decided not to drag on the acceptance since its kind of fixed in my mind le. But, I must say ya I'm not quite contended about doing Business at NTU, but this is the best offer le. Also, well accepting this offer, there is still the chance of changing to get Accountacy at NTU (which is the ideal course & sch I wanted lor). I've called & e-mail NTU to enquire about change of course and if Acc & Bus 1st year study the same modules -- and yup they do the same thing, meaning if this year my appeal isn't success to change, I can still have a chance next year to transfer as long as I perform well in 1st year of uni. I've sent in my online-appeal to transfer course le, now can only hope for good news:) Wish me all the luck! Haha!

Oh, I hope I'm making the right choice.. I did right? I suppose so ba.. Whatever it is, I will stand by my decision and perserve on with it:)

NTU Business Tea on 14th May

Since, this most prob. my school this coming 7 Aug 06. I went for the NTU Business Tea and Interactive Session at NTU itself on sunday afternoon, hoping to learn more about the course, hear more from current students there and to make friends with pple that got into NTU too.

This is my 3rd time trying to get to NTU le, but very lu chi and blur blur de me kinda lost my way again. First time been there was the open house where I went with Janice, 2nd was the business interview where I took a cab with Jeanie fearful of being late if I'll get lost on the way there. This time, there was a shuttle bus service that can bring us there from the Boon Lay MRT. Haha, yet I can't find the pick up point of the shuttle service lor, despite the map given to me, I made rounds and rounds.. In the end, very luckily I met a Sec4 tuition NY friend (really long time no see or meet) whose also going to NTU, then I went with her there, otherwise I surely miss the shuttel service liao, since it was the last bus we boarded then.

Well, there was a talk before the tea session. The talk were very similar to that at Parco and during the open house, only extras were the speech by graduates where they 'promoted' NTU a bit and talk about their experience at work. Quite impressing actually, but think got to take their words with a pinch of salt, considering they surely got to say about the merits of the school and these pple are prob. the cream of the corhord so its no doubt they will be where they are now.

During the tea session, spoke to one of the Banking & Finance Professor and also a senior who took F&B with Accounting as 2nd specialisation. Wow! Hmm, this will be what I inspire to take should I my appeal not be successful and that I really got to do business degree then. But, wanna take this I really got to do really well in the 1st year than possible. Yet, only with such then being an auditor would still be possible.. Haha, actually I still dun quite understand why I so zhi zhuo over taking Accountacy despite hearing from many how its going to be quite boring to most. Gain some insights into what u will expect to study if doing F&B, and bit about life at NTU etc...

Oh yes, not forgetting.. now just need to consider if I want to exempt myself from doign Economics modules again in 1st year, they said if one got A/B for Economics in A level than we can apply for exemption lor. Hee, should I or should I not apply leh?

I made a new friend -- Wai Mun, a really friendly gal of whom we seem to be able to chit-chat quite alot despite first time meeting each other. She accepted NTU Business le, so most likely we'll going to be school mates. Luckily, met her and her friend there, otherwise quite werid to be roaming around NTU alone lor. Aiya, all pple I know who got into Business NTU, like not seemily interested due to the wulu location of NTU, too far away.. But for me, I value the fact that its 1 year shorter compared to NUS/SMU be it for Business or Accountacy, somemore its a direct honours degree lor.

Also, met the senior of whom I spoke to at the Accountacy booth on the NTU open house day. Ha, surprising she still remember me leh. But, Yali was really shocked to hear that I never get into Accountacy cos that year with my grades she managed to get in lor, so encouraged me to appeal! Oh, but she just finish her last exam le, so leaving NTU le, but she is a very nice senior who shared with me alot about hostel life, accoutanacy and lots more... Ha, not forgetting she told me Hall 2 nearer to NTU Business School and how the food there nicer. Haha! Me quite a piggy so wanna to find out where the food nicer to eat ma..

After the tea session there was a tour round the campus on the bus before the shuttle bus take us back to Boon Lay MRT. Oh, managed to visit and see one of the hostel room at the new hostel block. Well, I'm quite shocked to see that the table in the hostel room quite big leh, I thought very small lor. Haha! I need very big table to work on de ma, too used to that at home le. Actually, not that bad la.. the room looks quite okay for 2 pple. Hmm, its almost 99% confirm that Janice and I will be sharing and staying hostel there le, just that we haven't apply online yet.. Ha, we quite look forward to that lor.. Really can't imagine how tired I will be to ask me to travel to and fro soo far everyday lor, surely reach home only wanna find zhou gong. So I opt for staying hostel, despite quite a number of 'not so positive' says about staying at hostel.. I guess it depends on individual perference ba. But, since I got nice room mate liao, should be no problem le.. or so I hope so:)

Time really files lor, not long ago just A Level ended..yet in few months time its life back in school again. Hopefully, this time school will be more interesting..

I miss my laptop!

2006-05-19T01:15:00.000+08:00

I miss my laptop!

Hee, really long time since I've last blog and left my updates. Why so mainly cos my laptop just suffered some kind of 'external injury'. Ha, the letter "A" on my laptop keyboard dropped off. Since still under warrantly, I brought it back to Callenger to get them to help repair lor. Quite shocked how i type can type till letter dropped off... I zi ren very 'protective' and gentle towards it le, yet still...

Oh i miss my laptop. Days without it, my free time at home really boring lor. Borrow Jeanie's comp. got time limit, she need to use then got to pass back to her le ma. So, thats also why long time no on msn le, or only on short timing then offline le. Miss chatting with many of my friends lor.. now only hope my laptop quick come back la..

Btw, thanks to many that sms concerns regarding my knee injury. Hmm, the injury have sort of recovered le, just left somewhat some ugly scar which i will think how to remove later lor. But, really xie xie ni men de guan xin:)

Yesterday..

2006-05-04T18:09:00.000+08:00

Yesterday..

Yesterday was a eventful day wor, also quite like my self-declared holiday to compensate my missed out Labour Day. Haha!

Actually, yesterday me got chance to experience whats it like to be a relief teacher for a day at a primary school one leh. As Yi Fong got some interview thing, so can't teach ask me to help relief and I agreed lor. This friend is met at quite a weird circumstance de, haha, its my decemeber search for temp-job at International Plaza (Kelly Services) ren shi de. We went to 10 agencies to leave our contacts, thereafter it was more of chat on MSN lor. But, aiya, all thanks to my stupid injured knee so not qiao this period get injured.. Haha! I don't want to be limping and plastered teacher la, will be quite a joke lor, so in the end I did not go relief when the school called me yesterday morning. But, nevermind lor, perhaps will have another time ba.. Hee, I always hao qi and curious whats the experience like ma, also how is it different from giving tuition. Haha! Have I become bit bored being a tutor? Maybe lor..

So since never go be relief teacher, I accompanied Jeanie to see Zena, she got appointment yesterday ma. Quite an interesting session. Bit limping and with the big plaster, aiyo.. went out ah, alot of people stare and stare. Ha, make me wonder they never see people fall down before ah?

My injured knees due to the stupid fall thanks to the dog, still really hurts. Due to fear of pain, I think I never cleanse the wound properly on Sunday nite, so its kinda infected and really painful, very grossed too lor. According to Jeanie, its "bu ting xiao mei yan, shang kou lan diao ye", indeed la she did offer to help me clean with alcohol swap, but she's quite rough and uses alot of force lor, so I scared of her la, rather do myself.

But, in the end she got Joanna to grab hold of me and she cleanse it for me. Wah, pain pain pain leh! I felt like being murdered lor, think scream until Joanna and Jeanie went deaf liao. But, i got to admit after her cleansing my wound looks a little better le, hopefully will soon not be sooo tong and painful and will not leave a scar ba. Hmm, as much as I screams and shouts, I do appreciate Jeanie's help, really must thank you her for helping me dress and cleanse my wound. Also, xie xie Janice for chit-chatting with me on the phone to divert my attention so as to let me feel less pain, when Jeanie was 'tearing' my skin as the bandaged kinda got stuck to my wound due to the 'passed' lor. Hopefully, Janice you never get deaf from my screams leh.

Oh yes, our lunch was great! We had Pepper Lunch! Sooo... yummy,yum,yum! The beef pepper rice is something we have been wanting to eat since last week lor. Its sooo nice! But, fattening though..Haha! I'm such a piggy: Then got Subway for dinner somemore leh.

Not forgetting, specially went to Millenium Walk ah despite my 'limping' state, haha, of course is by cab after session with Zena. We wanted to go to the Candy Empire a store filled with the 'Tim Tam' Chocolate biscuit I've been graving for.. also got the Wonka Chocolate Bar that Jeanie wanna eat lor. Hmm, all these only this store sell in the entire Spore leh, or so I think so..

Then, we went for a earing hunt at Marina Square, Jeanie wanna get herself a new pair of earings. That's retail therapy ba, haha! A very expensive therapy leh, shopping for nice nice things really can make one happy la, just hor, a big hole in the pocket lor, maybe heartache later also? Hmm, to me if the money is well-spent, or spent on something I really like, once in a while reward myself okay la. I work as a tutor also very 'xin ku' ma.. Haha! This is called giving myself excuse hor? Terrible me la.. Aiyo, I better cut expenditure this month, last month's earning not as glamourous as it should have been lor.. this due to alot of reasons and quang kuang that occured la.

Well, oh goodness.. yesterday nite ah, also the first time I ever waited for Taxi for soooo long in Spore lor. The other time, that was in Shanghai. Aiyo, Marina Square really not a good place to get a cab if say after 9pm, even if its Taxi Stand ah, all the taxi that come in are those that are booked already lor. Aiyo, really can kill my poor leg, that was in pain. 1 hour! We waited for sooo long leh. We tried calling a cab ah, knowing the situation, but can't get through the hotlines at all. Attempted for really long time ah, then Jeanie finally managed to call a cab from Comfort, but aiyo, she only remembers the 1st digit: 2, and last letter: L of the taxi, so when such a comfort taxi arrive we just hop on lor, assuming its ours.

Hee, in the end not our cab leh. So tired by the time got onto the taxi, my knees was really painful. Of course, taxi uncle ask me what happen to my knees again, so time for story-telling again. We chit-chat so much till forgot to tell the uncle where we going lor, its only till like near Beach Road, then we realised that hmm, not right leh. We blur la, wait too long for taxi liao lor.. This taxi uncle very nice though, said nevermind la, then we chit-chat quite a bit with him.. Haha, topic was the hot topic now lor: Our Singapore's Election...we talk about some quite interesting and juicy gossips about this topic lor. The chit-chat with the taxi -driver ah, made me realise that this job quite interesting also leh, cos everyday pick up passengers of all walks of life, hence is exposed to alot lor.

With regards to our elections ah, hmm... I'm still underage and so can't vote la. Even can hor, my district is under GCT, no opposition dare to challenge him, so even parents also don't get to vote lor. Today, just saw an msn-msg of a friend that I find very interesting, I find it really true also leh, its about how -- Taiwan election the date is very early known ah, yet result of the election will only be known last minute. But in Spore's Election, the election result is very early known what it will be, but date of election only last minute than will know lor. Quite true isn't it?

Ha, I just realised lately I blogged alot of enteries leh. I must be really bored lor, leg injured wanna really go out with friends also quite hard. So wu liao nothing to do than write write 'rubbish' lor. Really sorry leh, I know I suppose to meet out with some of you this week as promise de. Hmm, next week we meet ok?

Okay, stop here le, got to go out and give Inge tuition le, sooo long never see that gal liao. This week tuition ah, due to injured knee my transport has been 240 lor...

At Last, At Last, Finally..

2006-05-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

At Last, At Last, Finally..

Wah, at last! I received THE LETTER!

After weeks of waiting and waiting.. Then, hearing that almost all my friends already received their acceptance letters from NTU/NUS/SMU during the last week of April if not earlier. I can't help but feel worried for myself, cos I had NO letters at all, not even from any of these Uni, though i applied for all 3 uni. It was really tough time trying to convince myself, all will be fine, I am not unwanted, just not yet wanted only. All I can say is deng dai zhen de nan ao, shi bu hao shou de.

My daily question to my dad: "Today, got my letter from NTU/NUS/SMU a not ah?"..Ha, guess he buay tahan my questioning very nite le. I felt really relieve receiving a call from dad tonite telling me NTU sent me a letter le, its Business that they are offering me a place in... that's my 2nd choice.

Its Business, not Accounting. Dissappointed? Happy? Actually, I am not very sure how exactly am I feeling also, only got the feeling of relief, at least got 1 uni wants me le, I am not unwanted! Well, I am not shocked that it is not Accounting, from the point of realising the NTU interview I went for was for Business not Accounting, I already knew that Accounting was more of a dream le? But, for one I should rejoice is that, this means at least the interview I went for then was a success hence I got a place in the school. This one, really must thank Jeanie.. thank her for accompanying me there and encouraging me on the way. Also, must thank dad, not for his occupation.. haha, I won't be able to crap my way through having something different to talk about..

Immediately I knew the news of my letter, heee.. I told Jeanie straight away. Also,I sms Janice to tell her the good news. Janice has been offered a place at NTU (Pschology) & NUS (Arts and Social Sciences), that was a week ago or earlier when she told me, she's just waiting for my letter also. We both prefer to pursue our degree at NTU, mainly cos its direct honours courses, more specified, and well for Acc. its definitely the most established of the 3 uni, if now say Business, its a year shorter for me. Hee, if we both all accepts NTU, then think we will stay at the hostel together ba, since the far distance would be a problem for both of us. And our school is the same building also leh. Since Primary 5 & 6 ended, we left for different classes in the same secondary school, thereafter different JCs though taking the same subject combi., hopefully now we can go to the same school, just taking different degree.. Ha, this is what both of us hope for lor.

Janice, kind of made up her mind of accepting NTU's offer. As for me, I still wanna wait for NUS's letter to see what they are offering me before I decide, though I also favour NTU lor. If NUS offers me Accounting, then I will really have to consider what to accept lor. Problem really is NUS's Acc. not established also dun know reconigsed a not. IF NUS give me Business then think I will accept NTU ba, its one year shorter.

Hmm, SMU offered me a place in Social Sciences, this one I haven't received the letter, just checked online the result. Kinda of out of the question lor, I did not even realised I actually got put Social Science (4th) as one of the option, just to fill up spaces of the form.. So, I'm going to reject this for sure. No need to consider le lor, since NTU gave me Business liao. Goodbye SMU!

Well, even if I accept what NTU is offering me now -- Business. I will still try to appeal for my desired course -- Accounting. I will not give up without any try one, even if chance of successful appeal is slim, I must still try then can si xin one. Its just me lor, yes I'm very stuborn and determined to get what I want de. Last time, in secondary the History case also like that, in the end I managed to fight for it. In ACJC, I also managed to drop Physics and keep F Maths against all odds, and re-took my Chinese AO on my insistant of an A1 grade though everyone around me thought I was siao, but I did it and managed to get my desired score in the end.

So.. I believe, who knows maybe this time I also will succeed lor. At least I must try to 'fight' for what I really want, like that even in the end really don't have I also have no yi han le. Then ah, I will accept what's given to me, and make the best out of the situation. So, tmr I will call NTU up and ask ask how to go about appealing, and also seek answers to some of my queries lor. I need alot of Luck!! Hee, wish me good luck hor. Xie le!

Okay, now just waiting for the last letter.. then I can finally know where I will be later this year le. I really can't stand the uncertainty feeling for the past month lor, so no sense of direction of what is to come for my future.. Luckily, now at least there is some light le..

A Tough Last Nite and What an Unlucky Morning!

2006-05-01T10:10:00.000+08:00

A Tough Last Nite and What an Unlucky Morning!

Aiyo, with the pain like hell injury on my knees.. last nite really hard to sleep. Can't count how many times I woke up in pain le. Straight lie on bed also hard, slight sleep knees will rub against each other also pain. Aiya, just pain pain pain! All thanks to the stupid dog, I sooo tired, still cannot get to sleep properly.

Me just return from the 'ritual'. Luckily ah, no kneeling required today. Heng ah, if not cham liao. Dad still can't believe I fall down so jialat due to what 'kennna catch by dogs', he still very insisted should write and complain. Hmm, Joanna and Jeanie super mei tong xing xin, I so pain liao, they think its soo funny that I fell thanks to the dog! Argh.. so horrible them!

This morning, luck like still very bad lor. Go Bedok ah, the lift -- I helped Dad to press the open button to let him carry out the stuff, then the uncle outside aiya never help press. There the lift very lousy, I got press myself before I go out, yet.. wah.. the lift door still shut and hit my shoulder. Tong ah, lucky this time impact not as jialat as last nite's fall and scratch till bloody like that. But, still is very 'sway' lor.

Then who knows later in the car.. got bit jerk here and there. The stupid orange handicraft put on the back sit display there. Aiyo, actually dropped upon jerk and 'tok' my poor head! Tian ah.. can my bad luck end here a not ah?

I already yuan shen dou tong, spare me liao la. The rest of the day better be a smooth and painless one lor. Today, 4 tuitions ah, think only can take cab from one place to another liao, I bo liat to walk and change bus after bus le. If not for the fact that my secondary students are having their mid-year this week and next, think today i will declare break lor. Afterall its really suppose to be Labour Day! Plus, me is injured and in pain!

Okay la, end here first le.. going out to give tuitions liao..I wish myself Good Luck! May I not get further injured today le!

Ren Shan Bei Gou Qi! I hate that DOG!

2006-05-01T00:08:00.000+08:00

Ren Shan Bei Gou Qi! I hate that DOG!

Dog year pei dog hai! My luck really 'sooo goood' till I want to cry liao! The whole week have already been quite a 'cham' one (why cham I blog next entry). Tonite's encounter is like xue shang jia shuang like that.

Wo ke lian de knees, so painful and bloody. Hao tong, hao tong ah! All these all bai that stupid wolf-dog suo ci! My palms also scratch to avoid my head from hitting the rough ground lor. Argh! Go teach tuition ah, go teach until pian ti ling shang.. think only got me ba.

Not my student's fault though la, want to blame than 'kill' the dog ba. All start with my usual walk to Cherylyn's house to give her tuition tonite, her home near mine ma, so don't need to take bus or what-so-ever. Cross two roads, pass-by couple of blocks can liao. Think 10mins enough for me to get there le.

Its not that I late or what, so ran, trip then fell down lor. Rather ah, me just walk with my usual speed, pass by Grandma's block, then walk under HDB path, there smoother and easier to walk lor. Aiyo, who knows today got a 'da lang gou' there dang my lu. Wolf-dog block my usual path, still not all, it was coming towards my direction. Wah, I very scared dog one leh. Even small dog, i also scared lor, let more this is wolf-dog. Ke xiang er zhi, how much I felt like screaming lor. But, I dare not scream also, scared like that worse ah, later the dog chase after me than i jialat liao.

Its not a stray dog, rather is an owned dog that is let on the loose like that. So I bo bian, decided to take another path to walk lor. So, turn and walk towards the stairs and wanna exit to the road. Cut cross the road from that block also can get to Cheralyn's house ma.

Aiyo, usually from ther stairs pathway type is ping lu one. Who knows block 409 so special one, got quite a big step upwards. Me walk away and change of path, my xin li really is scared that dog will follow still lor. Cos, it did follow me a bit initally. So I presume its just flat path and walk straight.

There was big step upwards, yet i walk into it.. Surely ah, I then tripped over it, and fell really hard on the ground. Both my knees scratch very hard on the 'road type' of ground, I nearly fell flat but hai hao got by hands to support. Though, like that also cause my arm to 'cracked sound' a bit, scratch a bit also. But, not as yan zhong as my knees.

Wah! Really tong leh, I'm one that cannot bear with physical pain type lor. Really can say is pain till my tears also come out liao. I could not get up immediately cos no strength, bit shocked and cos pain ma. Quite bloody my knees, my knee on the right leg the skin bit 'peel' off like that. Ke xi mei hao xin ren passby to help me up, I got to get up myself, and eventually when i found bit strength, I managed to limp to the nearest chair at the HDB block to rest a bit.

Then, I realise actually is got a guy there one leh, he is the stupid wolf-dog owner. He saw me fall, then trying real hard to limp to the chair, he just stand there and stare and got the ke xiao expression on his face. Wah, really mei tong qi xin lor. All thanks to his stupid wolf-dog hai de wo so lang bei and so in pain, I really felt like screaming at him lor. But, in the end I never la, I no strength also dun want to start a 'war'. I just want to 'cure' my wounds and contiue my way to Cheralyn's house lor. Wanted to cancel tuition de, cos I yi sheng tong also dun know how to get there and still teach.. but can't la, she is having her Maths mid-year paper on Tue, still got a number of topics to cover with her lor. Thanks to the fall, now i really late liao.

I wanted a clean my wounds asap, cos the 'road' alot of particles I don't want infections and more pain to come later lor. I also dun wish later got scar there also. Called Aunt Sandra, wanted to know if anyone at home a not, 409 is their block, if someone at home, then i can try to get up there and clean my wounds and apply medication first. Clean wound and apply medication surely pain like hell one, indeed really lor. Tong si wo le! Tears, screams surely got la. Uncle Steven, Aunt Sandra and Ah Ma was like wah, how come fall and injured till so jialat. Then i told them what happen lor. Aunt & Uncle they really nice, offered to send me to Cheryln's house, at least that way I need to walk less. Ah Ma was really jin zhang, she got me all types of medications. I really hao gan dong lor. Xie xie them liao.

Tonite's tuition, I surely nan wang lor. Ren tong, ren tong, tried to put all my concentration on teaching Cheralyn hope like that will feel less pain, but still is feel pain lor. Think maybe is me really cannot endure with physical pain type so really is pain pain pain. By the time I reach her house, cos the injury at the knees ah, climb stairs really is painful lor, I tong till got tears le. Lucky, I got sms after my fall to tell her I will be late cos I fell, if not think will sai si her lor. Tutor turn up limping, and eyes quite teary. Haha!

Argh, really mad with that stupid dog! Not for it ah, I won't have to change my path then won't fall down liao! Wah.. go home time, really like limping. If legs straight walk, the injury damn painful, so got to bend it a little than walk. Lucky got Vanessa, haha, news of me fall down spread quite fast. Midway tuition, cousin Vanessa called me ask me my knees mei shi ba? Ask me if need big plasters and alcohol to clean wound properly a not? Say she passed to me later. So, she walk over to 409 and help me back home. Xie le! If not think will take me long long to get home lor.

Wah, on way home, met flying 'xiao qiang', wah.. my another fearful insect. Tonite like all the 'animals' zhuo dui with me like tat, lucky this time never wei le xiam it fall down or what lor.

My encounter tonite make me ku xiao bu de. Jeanie see me come back with injury shocked! Joanna and friend Megan was like, aiyo.. poor thing leh. I re-cleanse the wound this time with the alchol pad, and idodine, then put on the plaster. Wah.. pain pain, I scream so loud till mum and dad chiong into the room. They are like, wah how come go give tuition until come back injured. Kept shaking their heads. Haha! So time for explaination again.. dad kept telling me to use camera and shoot my injury, then use it to complain that stupid dog and its owner. I found that funny lor, aiya.. forget it, so bloody take photo very gross leh. Plus, I dying of pain liao, where got mood to take photo leh?

Till now, type this post or chat on msn ah, I'm still suffering in pain! Err, that stupid dog better dun let me see it again! I want to 'kill' it! So unlucky, what a nite lor!

Wah.. I tmr morning still to attend to the rituals of Ah gong's funeral (thereafter). If got kneeling involve, think I can 'die' of pain really le. Plus plus, after that I got whole day of tuition to give, cos last week already 'cancelled' a number of lessons, students got exams so bo bian. Labour Day, me this poor thing labour, injured still got to 'work'!

Tong Tong Tong, Pain Pain Pain, all bai that stupid Wolf-dog suo ci!

Why all give me 2nd choice?
2006-04-20T16:18:00.000+08:00
Why all give me 2nd choice? I dun want lor!

Just came home from NTU's interview. Hai! I really feel very cheated leh, upset and dissappointed also. Very confused feeling, I feel very lost as to what i should do from now le.

How to say leh. Last Saturday morning, I've received a call from NTU, say got interview today at 2.50pm at NTU Business School. Soo early, I still in bed lor, its the call that woke me up, guess, blur blur me then forgot to ask if interview is for Accounting or Business. So since I've put accounting as first choice, and its always the course I want to do at NTU, I presume its for Accounting.

Receiving that call, err.. made my past few days quite stressful lor, considering how much i really hope to get into NTU Accounting, I hope to do well for the interveiw and not screw up my chance lor. Yet, happy too at least they are willing to give me a chance and bother calling me up for an interview though i wonder, why dun just let me in la.. dun need to interview lor.

Who knows, they never give me a chance. Its a chance i presume exist, but in reality does not exist. NTU really very wulu, really far from home. In fear that i'll lost my way there, hence will be late ah, so I've decided to take taxi down easier and safer. Hee, Jeanie very sweet lor, she know i jing chang, so said she go with me to zhuang dan like that.

In the end, I reach quite early, waited for a while. What shocked me was the signtag, that state A Level Graduates, Business Interview in Meeting Room 1. Huh? Goodness, its a Business Interview ah? Instantly, I felt upset and dissappointed le. A bit like, wah.. waste my time to travel all the way here, thought its a chance to Accounting in NTU, yet, it turns out otherwise. Really very shocked! Jeanie kept telling me don't look so glum, just go for the interview lor, since already come le. To be frank, I don't have much mood for interview le lor. But, i've decided ya just go and do my best ba, since thats the principle i belief in giving my best in all that i do.

Well, when its my turn, i went in for the interview. Knowing that's its Business interview now, somehow it does not seem that important to me le. Usual question I've predicted, asked why choose Business specialisation? Why NTU?

I really got value the interview when i got the phonecall, thinking yeah! Got chance, at least got some hope for Accounting. So, surely I've done my preparation for it lor -- bit of web-search online, interview tips, common asked questions etc.. Of course not forgetting to research on NTU School of Business and Accounting, to find out the strengths of NTU and its culture. I sincerely wanted a place there ma, so got 'zhuo gong ke'.

So, to ans. the question why NTU was not a problem, I got my background information done up. With some crapping, I belief my ans. was quite convincing. It also revealed i did do research lor.

Hmm, why Business? Quite ironic isn't it? Errr... I want Accounting not Business one leh. But, naturally thought of answering relating back to Dad. Well, Dad is a Businessman ma, though self-employed, and in truth I did help him along when young in exhibitions etc.. So say its Dad's influence on me, that got the ball-rolling. The interviewers said what i said was interesting. Many questions followed thereafter, all I've managed to answer, cos this time's interview I can say is you bei er lai one, alot of issues I've thought through at home liao. But, I still got jing zhang lor, felt my talking speed like rushing train like that, err.. english not perfect statements also. But, content wise, I've said alot, quite in depth in fact.

Think, I must have sounded quite enthusiastic about doing Bussiness at NTU ha? Only till then when the female interview asked me so what i hope to specialise in Business? Immediate response, err "Accounting". Realised its business in question, I just added Finance. Only then, they realised that Accounting was my 1st choice, Business 2nd. I just merely said, hmm.. accounting and business complements. But, really I hope to study Accounting lor. Overall, the interview went well i think, the interviewers had very big smiles on their faces at the end. I guess, it should be a successful interview???

Well, but even if its successful, I should accept it ma? Its business not accounting leh. Also, if say Business, NUS's Business School even SMU can 'fight' wor. Just for Accounting, I feel only NTU one is good, thats why i feel its the school i want. Travel all the way to NTU for Business, really worth the sacrifices ma? I really will feel happy studying this ma?

I feel quite sad lor, even SMU -- the uni of which I registered not cos I really like that school, just more for backup, in-case accidents happen to NUS and NTU. Who knows, even this one, I am only given my 2nd choice: Business. Argh.. I really that lousy ah, why dun give me my 1st choice? SMU's Business Interview is tmr morning at 10am. I received the phonecall from them yesterday afternoon. Dun know why, yesterday receive the call le, I got this bu xiang yu gan. Suddenly, that made me doubt if today's interview really is Accounting lor. Cos, if say SMU Accounting I cannot get in ah, its almost impossible NTU Accounting I got chance lor. Cos, NTU Acc. surely better than SMU one. But I decided to stay postive, and thought maybe is i xiang tai duo le. But, end up its the painful reality, today's interview really not for Accounting.

Tmr, think I'll go and just try out ba. Now give myself more options also good. If NUS give me Business with Accounting Specialisation, hmmm.. then which should I accept leh? But, NUS Accounting this year is the first year leh, I've research on it, not say very establish or good lor, compared to NTU de. Aiya, than what should I do leh? Ha, if even NUS also dun give me Accounting but instead Business again.. Err, does that imply its fate that I should do Business??

But, wo bu yao leh. I want Accounting! I want to appeal??! What path should I take now? Confused! I will try appeal to NTU, I dun believe thats fate for me le. Never try zheng qu than ren ming, like that I will regret later de. Now, really hope is still got bit of chance ba.

Days should be getting better le ba..

2006-04-13T10:56:00.000+08:00

Days should be getting better le ba..

At last, things at home have been more or less settled. I hope its really so lor and not like few days later all explode again like that.

Well, Jeanie at last came to a conclusion with regards to whats she wants to do. SR's principal refused to allow her to delay due to project work grouping, so she got to make up her mind within a day whether she wants to return there a not lor. Still unable to accept that school, in the end she decided to retake her O Levels. Since, she believes in chong na li die dao, jiu chong na li pa shang lai. I guess, many sure think she siao ah, cos hard to comprehen why with 13pts still wanna retake. True, chang li hardly any with such scores will want to retake. Quite a pity of 1 year wasted, but well if she is comfortable with the decision and really feels that the only way of picking herself up and regaining her confidence, as her sister I will support her and help her along the way de. At least after months of feeling lost, only thought is wanting to die, till today able to at least choose a path to walk and continue living on instead of thinking of death daily. I feel alot more fang xin for her le.

Seeing Dr Sim and Zena, guess have helped her much in sorting out her thoughts and helped her see some hope in life. Having been with her through all her therapy sessions with them, guess, i've learnt alot too. Really leh, Psychology is interesting leh. Often, hearing what they say to Jeanie, bringing the cognitive distortions and the critic into picture, issues about friends etc.. I often put them in my own shoes to see how such affects me a not, like that I've learnt more about myself, my thoughts and thus how they affect me too.

Haha, really funny to hear how Zena the pschologist, have become Zena the warrior to help fight Jeanie's critic. Or somewhat Jeanie's anti critic software. Quite a burst of laughter from Zena and myself when Jeanie said in yesterday's session that she's been hearing Zena's voice, or imagining Zena's tone, reaction to counter her critic voice. Something like: "Wah.. luckily.." Yup, Zena has been a really nice psychologist, very friendly and got very good sense of humour in her counselling lor. Often, she overtime her session with Jeanie, yet charging us only for 1 hour session. Moreover, she understands that my parents are not supportive of Jeanie seeing xin li yi shen, hence most of the time, Jeanie's payment are paid by my earnings from tuition, so she said to lessen my load it will be every 3 sessions, 1 free. Really thankful and glad to have such a nice pschologist lor. Not for their help, guess, Jeanie will still be in the very depressed state. Now though, not completely recovered, but she is much much calmer emotionally and have more strength to carry on le. I really feel happy for her:)

Screams and shoutings from mum in the morning still persist on at times. Its just like a spolit radio, playing all the horrible noises at top volume. Only jialat thing is this 'radio' cannot be turned off on, only can ren ren ren it. Hmmm.. I've realised I have just turned into quite a conflict avoidance, maybe I really lei le, to face all these that have been going on for months. I still have to face it at the end of the day, but to avoid facing it every min. of the day. Avoiding home and going out as much as possible have been what I've turned to as an alternative. Giving many tuitions thankfully, has become a legitimate reason why I have to be out, then meeting friends in btw.. but, tuition can get very brain-draining at times...

Well, but I should feel qin xing things looks like they are gettting better for me liao, think hopefully my life will resume back to normal le . Long time no blog, or on msn then due to the mess at home, really lei de jing pi li jing lor. Really touched to have received many sms/ calls sending in regards, my dear friends u all are so sweet:) Xie xie ni men de guan xin.. No worries, I've not dissappeared from the surface of the earth, just u all ming bai la..

Birthday Present Hunt!

2006-03-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

Birthday Present Hunt & Trails Off..

30th March is Joanna's Birthday, ha its sister's birthday surely must get a nice nice gift to give her ma. Since today's tuition only in the evening then have, so I brought Jeanie out to makan lunch then together go try hunt and select a gift for Joanna lor. Shun bian shop shop a bit for myself, to reward myself for the month's hardwork ma, since its end of the month -- lots of pay day time!! I love shopping one leh! Fun and satisfying ma, but expensive hobby though. Unless say its window shopping then its FOC lor.

We went to Raffles City, Soup Kitchen for lunch. Long time never go there liao, Jeanie say no much appeittie so drink soup easier. As usual, she forever drinking tangi-tomatoe soup one la. As for myself, I like to sample the chief's special for the day first then decide one. Today ah, drank a chicken and mushroom related soup, exact name forgot liao la, so long long. Getting old liao, my memory failing me le. Haha!

Buy a birthday gift ah, quite headache one leh. Got to crack brains to think off what to buy lor, shang nao jing la. Indeed, its the thoughts that count for gifts, not so much what is given. Yet,I hope to get a gift that she see liao, surely will like and make use off. So really got to hunt and hunt for the perfect gift to buy for Joanna.

In the end, decided to get her accesseries, since she quite vain ma. Haha! She likes pretty stuff, or stuff that can make her prettier. This is the conclusion Jeanie & myself came up with. Also that day she was saying she wants to buy earings and that she very heart ache that she lost one side of one particular pair of earing she likes very much, yet not easy to buy again lor. Aga aga, I know what type of earings she like la, even I'm not sure, got Jeanie around ma. So, with target group of gifts in mind, we started to go from one stall to another in Raffles City.

At Raffles City, dun have earings that we find nice or that we feel Joanna likes one leh. Yet, spotted a very nice small jewellery box, that I find Joanna will like, so decided to buy it and later put in the ear-rings that I'll get for her in it, then wrap everything up.

Since Raffles City dun have, then we moved on to City-link, then to Marina Square. At last, shop many stalls at Marina Square then found the earing that we feel Joanna will like liao. Also, since already there, heard from Joanna, the pair of earings she lost was bought from there, yet aiya she never say which shop she buy from lor. Marina Square really big wor, we went one shop after shop hoping to find that same pair, a bit like hai di lao zhen like that, but I hope to help her shi er fu de. Very lucky our nu li got results, we really did managed to spot that pair of earings that she lost one-side leh, this one must thank Jeanie's eyes sharp if not then will not be able to find it lor.

So in the end I bought 2 pairs of earings for her, and will place them all in that box bought earlier on. Guess, she will be overjoyed to shi er fu de her that pair of earing ba considering how much she like that pair, and also have another new pair at the same time. Hee! Very happy to have wan cheng my mission of shopping for her gift, at the same time really must credit Jeanie for her wonderful help with choosing the gifts also lor. She already brought Joanna's gift and gave her earlier this month liao, so only left me lor.

Very lei walking and walking liao, by the time we finish shopping for her gift. Saw K-Box there, Jeanie felt like singing to fang song herself, so I'm okay lor. We went in and sang for a few hours, till over-time the person chase us then we left close to 7pm like that. Haha, as usual ah, go K-Box mostly is she sing, I listen more than sing one. Aiya, I sing song dun sound nice ma, dun want pple's er duo to shou jui la. Ha, but realised Wl's MVs are all under the xin ge shi ting section in K-Box, so happy to see that lor. Of course got tian all his songs lor. Haha!

Very enjoyable afternoon lor, shop shop, sing sing, eat eat. Very xiang shou leh. Thereafter, went to makan dinner, this time ate Thai Food, actually wanted to eat Breeks one lor, but walk wrong direction and I'm in rush then liao cos got tuition to give at 8plus, so see Thai food first, then just eat lor. Nice to eat also, we ate Mango salad, Thai-pineapple rice and Thai ice-tea. Due to lack of time, did not order more lor.

Today's expenditure really not cheap wor overall, lucky tonite give tuition got pay day to collect, so hai hao. Tmr, also got pay-day again till Sat. Thats why end of the month very shiok, cos this week all the tuitions also got pay-day. Oh yes, another thing that made today a perfect one is the sms I received from my student --Charmaine. She sms me to relate the good news that she got C for her CM block-test and full marks for the integration section. Though its not an A grade, but its an incredible improvement from her usual F grade, its a 5 grade jump wor. She's very happy and her teacher was very impressed with her improvement esp. due to the fact that many failed this test,hence she wanna sms me to say thank you for my teachings and help. I'm very proud of her:) Surely, if she conitue to work hard, getting A is just a matter of time...

Today is a Happy, Happy day leh!

Long, Long, Long...

2006-03-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

Long, Long, Long..

Okay, from the tittle should be able to tell liao. Indeed, its quite long long since I last wrote something, got more than 1 wk le. Aiya, dunno is me lazy or just simply too busy lor. Haha! So expected this entry will be quite long long...

As usual, me is very occupied by problems at home - headahe la. Then got to juggle with my tuition committments and keeping in contact with my friends, going out and all..

The Essay is Finally Completed!!

But, happy happy is at last I'm done wth the NTU admission application, can say is fang xia xin tou da shi le. Now yi sheng qing liao. Haha!

Write the essay was really quite a headache for me lor. Its a very long time since I last wrote a perfect english piece of work. Ha, infact my ang mor never perfect before one, too powderful le ma. There was a word limit of 300words somemore, I'm the very lor-so type, want me to write clearly with so little words very gao nan du lor. The question was on describing a person that has had an influence in me. At first thought about this topic, got quite a few people came into mind.

In the end, I chose to write about Wl. I had alot of struggles within, before I really decided on writting about him. This was not becos I have nothing to write, but more of my fears and concerns that this is an essay for academic and admission to the Uni I really want to get into lor.

How to say leh, Wl now is considered a Star, though truely he did inspire and change my outlook to life. I fear that the reader may misunderstood the essay more of idolizing than inspiring lor. Surely, I know I'm not type who will idolize somemore to the extent la, but misunderstandings of prototype may still occur ma. But, having ask opinions of many friends and even Jeanie & Joanna supported the idea of writting about him, I decided to go ahead with it. Afterall, guess this subject matter more interesting and different also lor, since most pple writes about parents, teachers, political leaders etc.

Goodness, the production of the essay, really like a hen laying golden eggs like that lor. Dragged day after day, the many tuitions & house problems very distracting lor, my laziness also to be blame la. Finally, last Wednesday nite the essay was completed. I know shi jian bu duo, so locked myself up in the room that day, cancelled all tuition then and forced myself to produced something lor. Spent many hours, re-write and re-write, cos quite crap all the writtings. In the end, at last got the piece I felt still okay, then got Joanna to help me edit and check. Really must xie xie her help le. Not forgetting also to thank Jeanie, Cheryl, Wei, SF, SK, Steady, KH and a few more friends also for their valuable comments, suggestions which they gave me after reading through the essay for me. I felt insecured about it lor, first is the subject matter, still the same fears. Next, is Joanna told me best is get more people to read see if okay a not then submit. I decided to heed her advice, so really xie xie all that help me le!

Write until so xin kou, so decided to put it up here(below), in case comp. crashed still got a copy online lor. Haha!

"Mr. Kelvin Tan Wei Lian, recent winner of Project Superstar has influenced me deeply.

Undoubtedly, Kelvin’s rise to stardom was an uphill task since it was unprecedented in Singapore’s entertainment history. However, Kelvin rose to the challenge despite the many obstacles he faced as a visually-impaired busker.

Firstly, Kelvin has inspired me to dare the impossible and follow my dreams! I believe that it is nurture and not nature that creates success - it matters not what qualities one begins life with; what matters is whether one has the correct attitude towards achieving his goals, namely determination, single-mindedness and willingness to work hard. It is my conviction that I can shine in all aspects of life both academic and otherwise.

Secondly, I have learnt to view life from a broader perspective. Having interacted with Kelvin personally, I have learnt to appreciate the simple blessings in life that many take for granted. Perhaps optimism is infectious for I now greet life with a smile and meet challenges as paths to new opportunities. I believe that optimism and happiness is something I would like to bring to the people around me, just as Kelvin has influenced me to become a happier and more carefree individual.

Lastly, I learnt self-value through Kelvin’s self confidence. It was easy previously to allow other’s opinions to affect my outlook. However, I realize now that it is only when we value ourselves that others may see value in us. This is of course harder to execute than to proclaim, but I believe that I can achieve a balance between asserting self-worth and approximating my strengths and weaknesses.

I only ask now that I am given the chance to put these qualities to use in an academic context in NTU. "

Aiyo, I want to slap myself leh. Goodness, me really blur like sotong lor. Later ah, when I went to do the application the next day, then I realised the other time went in I read wrongly lor. Actually, the essay is not compulsory one unless one wants to be considered also under the non-academic section. Alamark! Waste my time and make myself stressed out to write for nothing! Still, since already so xin kou wrote liao, i decided go ahead with the optional section la, afterall, its really the school I want ma. Just that, then even more ma fan, got to get online appraisal forms done up somemore. Lucky, Mdm Rahimah very nice, quite last min. she still say she will gladly do it for me. Really thanks le! Payment yesterday I also paid liao, I hope that marks case close for this application thingy le.

Cognitive Distortions & Pschypathic Critic

Ha, these terms very cheem hor? Indeed they are, as they are psychological terms which I've learnt from the therapy sessions of which Jeanie have with the psychologist, Zena.

Jeanie's situation is still quite bad, in the sense her mental state is still very weak and vulnerable. A little will push her to her limit where she feels that living has no purpose, hence death is more favourable.

I remembered that tue nite last week, I really woke up in shock and horror. Feeling really tired and drained from contiunous tuitions, I slept slightly earlier than Jeanie. At 3am, she woke me up asking me for medication. Goodness, on my table lay a penknife with the blade wide open. Immediately, I knew Jeanie tried to attempt sucide again. Aiyo, at times I am really already lost for words how to quan her le, esp. then I was so sleeply and was feeling unwell. So, I lend her a listening ear for her to pour all she is feeling out, hopefully thereafter she will feel better. Meanwhile, I actually scribbed down all she was saying. Her thoughts was filled completely with cognitive distortions, which is little wonder why she will feel like dying. I hear her thoughts, also will feel depressed, like more herself. Scribbing her words down, what I hope is to pass them to Zena via. email. Hopefully by providing Zena a full picture and contents of Jeanie's breakdown will help her Zena better understand hence making the therapy more effective for her ba. I really hope Jeanie will recover soon.

Till today, she finds it hard to return to school, as within she is still struggling to face up to what have happened. Truely, I am very worried. Without fail, every of her session with Zena and Dr Sim, surely I will go with her. Quite straining on my part, but I guess worst for Jeanie ba. Whatever it is, I just hope and want Jeanie to regain back to the chirpy, confident sis I used to have, even always bully me also nevermind lor. She like that ah, I see le very xin tong. The fact that I can't really help her, makes me feel very wu zhu. Worse, I fear is mum's reaction. Thankfully, last week I managed to seek mum's cooperation so at least more or less a breather for me. At least, one channel resolve le ma, yet today she blow up again... I knew her patience and tolerance very limited la, so not very shocked. Its just that I hope the peace can stay on longer only lor.

Actually, going for the therapy sessions with Jeanie I've also benefited myself. I've learnt alot of things I never knew before ma. Little did I know before that our chain of conitiuous negative thinking, is actually called cognitive distortions in our thoughts, our which there a few catagories somore. Moreover, if we have low self-esteem or is in depression, we may have a critic inside us. Of which, best able to catch the critic in action, so as to block it off so that we will feel more in control and not feel worse about the stiuation etc.

Ha, somehow I feel quite interested in Psychology now leh, cos interesting ma. If say, uni must take some general or sub. modules ah, I will take up Psychology as one ba. Somemore, maybe will be useful at home for me to understand more of it also, considering how dramatic home can get at times....

Catching up...

Alot took place last week, so much so I was unwell, sick yet struggled to cope with all. Haha, with half-voice and a pain throat, I still went on giving my tuitions cos the secondary students of mine having mid-year soon le, so cannot just cancel lesson lor. Yet, happy last Sunday managed to meet up with Janice for dinner, its 2 weeks since we last met or chit-chat liao, all too busy lor. Then, accompanied her to watch a band concert of which she wanna to support her friend, at nite at Victoria concert hall. Quite a nice concert, I did enjoy la.

Pity was, aiya got tuition in the afternoon last minute, so never managed to go down to IMM for Wl's event, it was the concert event again, but this time its braille chop on the tickets. Guess, must have miss out quite alot of fun there ba. But, nvm lor, la re fang chang.. surely got other chance one la. Glad though to hear that my BA friends who went for cruise enjoyed themselves. Hmm, this one I also wanted to go, just that too many happenings at home, so in the end could not go lor.

Still, to look on brighter side of things.. At least last week, though very busy, drained, tired. At least, somewhat at home there was less outbreak from mum, more peace, managed to go out and breathe and meet up with friends also.. so its still a not bad week..

Hao la, really long long long entry liao. Haha! Guess, if got blog contest on the longest entry, this one might win lor. Ok, stop here le, tired of writting liao. Me today considered quite wu liao la, thats why write write non-stop. Now got time to reflect and write rubbish ma. Haha!

New Outlook of blog!

2006-03-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

New Outlook!

Me must be very bo liao la, actually went to change my blog template. Must give credit to blogskins for their nice range of templates, although most still requires major editting in html.

I'm really a green horn at what html. Goodness, this thing is like greek. Ta ren shi wo, wo bu ren shi ta like that. First time see it wanna faint lor. Lucky then, Jeanie helped me abit, then i try learn learn lor, so this time managed to change and figure it out myself liao. Quite proud of myself leh! Haha!

Previous blog template, actually i find it nice and soothing lor, I quite like it one. Only thing is aiyo my posts forever so long long, then that template made the words very small, hard to read lor. Ha, today quite free and think xin xue la chao, got sudden feel of changing the template to give a new outlook to this blog.. So okay lor, change change ba.

Change liao. I must say I like this new outlook and layout leh. With my edits, got all the sections i require, and my posts now much easier to view liao. Overall, I find it very pretty, quite nice. Only ma fan de, is if chinese words dun display, then got to go under view--> encoding--> Unicode (UTF-8). Quite troublesome, but xi guan jiu hao lor. I like this better than the old one. Me xi xin yan jiu, horrible hor? Haha!

My dear friends, give me your point of view hor, xie le! New one or old template nicer leh?

I want to be Happy cannot ah?

2006-03-19T02:17:00.000+08:00

I want to kuai le guo mei yi tian.. so pls..

Kuai le or bu kuai le also must guo yi day, me rather kuai le de du guo lor. Maybe is this thinking of mine, thus i really feel the need for me to escape from the hun ju at home, to allow myself to live my day with happiness and not otherwise. So long long already, yi po wei ping, yi po you qi, I really got enough of these le.

To most pple, guess home is a place of care, warmth. Yet, now to me home dai gai wo de is just alot of fan nao, wu nai, all at which make me very bu zhi shuo cuo only. My house is a dramatic place, the dramas if set in place can take place regardless of time one lor. Wah, most of the time more dramatic than those on Channel 8 wor, somemore is like live one lor. But, why me got no choice whether i want to take part in the drama a not ah? I like always very wu gu get forced into becoming a mediator or peacemaker, sometimes worse become the scapegoat for the happenings, all not happy just shoot like that. I keep quiet does not mean i got no feeling, won't feel hurt, no gan jue one leh. Me is only dun want the war to be never ending lor. Sadly, pple at home dun seem to understand, guess all too engrossed with their dramas which they really seem to enjoy very much... goodness!

Why? Why? Why? Sometimes, I really can't help but question why all these must happen? Why can't I enjoy a moment of peace at home? Why can't my home be like that of others, where i can get proper rest? Nan dao, hoping for all these is really that hard ma? Like that the yao qiu really very gao nan du ma?

I know tao bi from home is not a solution, cos ultimately i still got to go home one. Too late go home everyday, nagging will be never ending.. yet, early or spend most of the time at home, think it will really be testing my ren gong lor, and how to be happy like that?

To situation at home, I already try very hard to can dan yi dian, don't worry too much, since most of the time, really how the situation goes is not in my hands also. Yet, I am like not allowed to be a pang guan zhe of the drama, they insist i must be involve in it whether i like it a not.

Hmm, scold me for what: Treat house like hotel? Pls lor, its u pple that make a home become not like a home, chao chao chao everyday and nite, tell me like that which person would feel like coming back? Somemore, pls la i go out not all the time to play play also, more than half the time this week out was like to give tuition whole day lor. Besides, even is to go out to relax and have fun, whats wrong with that ah? So many years of hardwork at school now is the only long break lor, relax, enjoy life a bit cannot meh? Besides, now i earn and spend within my own means also never take a cent from u all, what else is there to complain? Dun work, rest at home also wrong. Go out work (give tuition), then not home also scold. Tell me what i do then u all will be happy and give me peace leh??

Actually today is a happy day one lor, very eventful (TWL wei ni gai zhang wo shou hui at Lot 1) its an entertaining and fun day lor, thereafter, was very shiok chatting and resting at Boat Quay TCC with like SF, SK, TJ, Ben, Dawn, oh i luv the bean bag there, so nice to rest leh. Meet alot of the angels... its just a perfect feeling to be out from home, actually got alot of interesting observation and thoughts about the events one lor... yet, all mood destroyed once home, so now at this pt in time is no mood to write...wait lor..

Whatever, tmr i will still go out as planned, got 2 tuitions to give lor, both Charmaine and Amanda having their exams on Monday, I cannot fang my students fei ji one lor, just to make u all happy, I got zhi ren towards my students one lor, besides.. i also wanna go for the event at Chinatown in btw..

Stay at home, I really find it hard to be kuai le, u all just fang guo wo ba, hao ma? Let me kuai le de go through my remaining holidays can? I also need the ling gan and xin qing to do my Uni-application one lor, already is dragged every long liao, latest by Tue really must finish it le, u all dong bu dong?

Indication that my days getting better ma?

2006-03-18T03:24:00.000+08:00

Indication that my days getting better ma?

Fang Chang ma? Considering this timing, by right i should be chatting with zhou gong instead of blogging/ msning and being awake lor, despite yala me is nite owl type. Haha, I also dun know leh. If go by chang li tui duan, the fact that i have given like 4 contiunous tuition today -- really brain taxing man, went out, came home late then counsel sis and settle some issues at home, hmm, i should be lei de bu xing ren shi again.. that was what happened the past few days lor --- completely no energy, never even on computer leh, yet chat with zhou gong was not very an wen also.

Ha, perhaps is the going out at nite that helps. In what way leh, think let me escape from the troubles at home ba, somemore, with friends generally fun, got things to occupy and let me relax lor.

After last tuition that ended at 7pm, went down to City Hall, the Starbucks. Suppose to go there to collect Wl's concert ticket and poster from Dawn lor. Also, like BA meeting there like that. Haha, wonder why the Starbucks pple no complain leh, maybe cos we so many pple there hor, can help attract more crowds ha?

Happy happy to meet up with this group of friends again lor. SK, SF, Cheryl, Wei, Kath, Ben, Dawn, TJ etc.. too many to list one by one la.. Haha! Gossip, chit-chat, crap crap, listen to oh yes this 'i luv u ni dong bu dong' song. Ha, this song really very soothining and hao ting leh, belongs to the genre i like lor, though singer is who me dun know la. Haha! Really must xie xie SK for sending it to me le, now like set repeat mode, dun know hear how many times liao.

I enjoy going out with the BAs friends lor, mostly cos with them, always very funni so less time to think and worry about situation at home also, somemore, they are really nice gals/guys, of which there are those who know what i am going through now, thus been giving me support all these while, really xie xie ni men le, i truely appreciates all lor.

Thereafter, first round was with them. Later, Frankie sms ask wanna go TCR a not. Hmm, quite some time back since i last went to hear/ support Steady shi li pai singing le, so just thought maybe its good drop by once lor, nan de tonite is free one, so went with TJ there to Tanjong Pagar. Went there, i did enjoy also. Listen to the songs sang, of which some have very meaningful lyrics which brings me to xiang dong xi again, but away from problems rather more to the positive of life lor.. Was there till the performance ended, must thank Cutecute & her hubby Raymond for taking the trouble for sending me home lor.. haha, today reach home really late liao.. Lucky, mum and dad asleep liao, only need to help counsel Jeanie, can say is less issues to settle tonite...

Haha, finally, the whole March Holidays, i feel today at least i like got a life like that, the other days for the past week was completely tuition marthon for the whole day and having to face the never ceasing problems at home lor, till gang xiang only is that same three words: "Wu Nai", "Lei", "Buay Tahan" le.

Hoho, actually finish JC should not think of what March/June/Sept holidays liao, ha where got working pple think like that one. But, me just finish JC lor, hard to adjust la.. haha! I just dun quite wanna admit i getting lao le la.

Tmr, haha still is got tuition la. Thereafter, will go for Wl's event lor, this time is special print for his Gai Ban Wo Zhi Shi Xiang Yao CD, but aiyo super far away lor, all the way till Chua Chu Kang lor. But, will go still.. dun want to be home lor, moreover its giving the support to WL la, and to meet up with my BA friends again lor. Sunday also got event wor.. Hopefully, next few days house won't have like so much problems so i can go out, and lead a life at least for me to relax and breathe lor.

Today, considered the best day of the week liao. Tired but satisfied and happy! If everyday can be like that duo hao ah...

Tea with Mr Sum & Class, Dinner at Mdm's Place

2006-03-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

Tea with Mr Sum & Class, Dinner at Mdm's Place

Today have been quite an eventful day. Tired, but quite happy. The problems at home still exist, yet glad to be able to enjoy my days through other means..

Usual its the March Holidays, haha, now i know tutor's life is opposite from that of a school teacher. When teachers break, tutor work harder. Student's term exams after holidays, so now all very requires intensive tuition. So, morning out to give tuition.. Next few days, my shedule is like full house, max till 4 students in a row. Goodness, hope i'll be able to cope and still think lor.

Ha, Mr Sum (GP teacher at AC) wanted to have a drink with class, like a gathering. Weird la, meet at Bontanic Gardens. Initally, i did contemplate whether to go a not, as the other 3 gals of the class are busy and all not going, thus leaving only the guys in class going lor. Plus plus, within myself i must say till today I'm still very dissappointed with my GP grades, felt i've surely dissappointed Mr Sum, who is definitely an excellent teacher. Yet, haha, dun know which part of me last minute decided to go la, maybe cos today's like the only day i can probably get a life and go relax w/o that many tuition lessons. Glad, I've decided to go.. though really werid to be the only gal among the many guys.

Yeah, that tea session, we met up at Ginger Garden inside Bontanic Garden. Ha, really can't remember when is the last time i stepped into Baontanic Garden, that must be long long ago, cos i have no impression of that place at all, took me a long time to find that restraunt at Ginger Garden. By the time i reach, most of the pple coming all turned up le. So, it was a chit-chat and makan session. Interesting conversations, quite GP though, haha! Though, mentions about GP grades, did like sadden me a bit, esp. hearing how even the foreign students have done well for it, my grade is like the worst. But, guess grades can't tell everything ba. Sir and the rest of class were impressed by how much i'm earning now as a tutor each month, and how i went about sourcing for my students. In this aspect, indeed I'm quite successful, and I do feel proud of myself. So, perhaps I'm not that bad afterall, though my results are not that fantastic, but I do have my strengths as well.

We had tea till the place had to close for the dinner slot, thus we left Bontanic Garden.. Thereafter, Mike, Harley, Koko, Chamnap said they were going to Mdm Rahimah's place for dinner, asked me if i wanna go. Since, tonite no tuition as Amanda's feeling unwell, I've decided ok, just go ba. Afterall, its a long time since i've seen Mdm also..

So, dinner once again, Mdm was very happy to see that I came along too, surprised and happy, sama thoughts on my side too. Well, in AC, Mdm Rahimah as a form teacher has showered alot of care and concern for me more than just duty as a teacher, she very teng wo de, so often I'm very touched and happy to have a teacher like her. Just that, again I knew she's dissappointed that I did not managed an A for Econs despite my hardwork at it...

We were kind of late by the time we reached Mdm's place, Mdm prepared alot of dishes for dinner, there were even dessert and fruits thereafter. Wah, really very filling dinner leh. While eating, of cos was more chatting till about 11plus pm then we left...

Happy and glad I've decided to go, indeed weird to be the only girl around, but i've managed it la. Afterall, its like classmates and friends for 2yrs, and meeting up, knowing how are all faring gives me quite a good feeling too. Especially, meeting up Mr Sum and Mdm Rahimah -- these 2 years in AC, these 2 are my favourite teachers, cos they really done alot to help me and have been really dedicated tutors who cared for me more than just grades alone. So happy to meet them too, with dissapointments aside. I'm really thankful for them. Hopefully, all of us will get to the Uni of our desires and be able to take the course we hope for too..

Argh.. talking about Uni. Goodness, I still haven't got the ling gan to write the essay required by the NTU application lor, latest i got to do is by this weekend, cos still got to send documents to them somemore. Too many things have been happening lately, my mind is like in a mess, often a not i'm too tired by the time i reached home, help settle issues at home, brain dead, chip stop functiing so how to write leh?

Feeling really weak lately, i feel very tired half the time. Nowadays, its like once i reach home, my chip really just shut down, tired, tired, tired. No energy to even chat lor, yet can't sleep immediately also. Cos i feel i have too much on my mind. Sometimes, its like come home le, still have lots of issues to settle --- the usual wars at home, many many things not within my control just happens and i just got to help resolve. Perhaps, thats why i'm feeling totally drained out lately...so much so sometimes i feel like i can collaspe anytime, cos the faint feeling is still very in me..

Quite sad isn't it? Wanted my life this year to be filled with happiness, smiles and sparkles.. yet, till date due to incidents after accidents at home, life for me has been quite alot of feng feng yu yu. Most of my enteries have sad, filled with anxiety and stressed ones. When will i see my yang guang and cai hong ah?

Maybe i really should not think too much to the happenings around me, but aiyo, me just the type who often tends to xiang tai duo one lor. Whatever, i better soon zhen li my xing qing and find time to do up the NTU application.

Yet, today indeed has been quite a happy and satisfying day, putting aside the home problems. Smile:)

House once again in War Zone

2006-03-12T22:45:00.000+08:00

Wah, so now all my fault leh!

Wo hao yuan wang, hao wei qu, hao wu gu ah! So now i'm blamed for the happening of this morning's war at home.. Wo Zhen De Shou Shang le. What did i do to deserve all these?

Fine la, its my fault, happy now? If make me the scapegoat will make u happy, then i ren, i ren, i take the blame for things i never even caused. But, can u all just keep quiet, give me peace can a not? I really buay tahan le!

Early morning today, house is once again in war zone. Usual creator my war - mum. This time what sparked the war again? Goodness, i also dun know. I already have enough on my plate to cope lately, jin sheng, ti li shang really is drained and stretched. I'm trying to struggle and cope, cos i have to.. to not add on to the already messy situation at home, my tong ku, my xin suan.. think the most is my friends knows, yet at home i got to quang jian quang to help resolve situations somemore.. yet now, i'm blamed for all.. I really feel very yuan wang leh! My xin heng tong, heng tong!

I have a mental mum, i hate to admit or say this, but i really think so. Jeanie's already struggling to find hope in life to live on, to reduce her sucide tendencies. I've put in alot of efforts to console, listen and counsel her everynite, despite being completely brain dead after a whole day of tuition.. at last, she agreed to see a phychiatrist and a physcologist to seek help. I accompained her there on Friday, stayed on with her. As her sister, of cos I hope the best for her, and hope through this she will be able to think clearer about how to cope on with her current straits. Thus, how tired i am, i do all these xin gan xing yuan. Really, till this point in time when i feel very wei qu about things, I never regret going all out to help her and have never blamed her like mum does for what tuo lei the family. Pls lor, poor Jeanie. She's already very jialat, this type of happenings definitely not she wants de, why further push and blame her somemore? I really bu ming bai why mum will say such things and push her further down to wanting to xun si.

After seeing the phychiatrist and physcologist, I felt it does helps her. Friday, Saturday at least she is starting to feel bit better.. who knows today, mum will start another self-directed war at her.. and blames her, say what the emotional trama she is facing within is an act of hers. Mum's xiang xiang li really too fong fu le is it? Dun say Jeanie who is completely weak now, even i ting her also feel very hard to jie shou lor. Screams, shouts, attempts to throw things.. this time is as dramatic as ever.. thats just my mum. Sigh!

Perphaps, this is the way she shows her concern for us, well maybe like that xiang i wil hao guo dian, thats why she will be jing zhang. But, if she really concern, and she pls stop undoing all that i am trying to help jeanie with. Nan de, she this 2 days not so sucidial le, yet today, mum challenges and dares her to commit sucide. Tell her, 'want to si is it? Hao, diao gai wo can. Gan tiao why dun now tiao xia qu?' or 'yao si wo nai dao gai ni la..' then really jump up and wanted to go kitchen to get knife...

Siao one leh, i never hear got parents like that one before. Mum wants her to die, i still want my sister to be alive one leh, if not why i will try so hard to help her see hope in life for? Once again, thanks to mum, all my efforts again is tu lao wu gong, gong kui yi kui again. Hai!

This morning, really is a mess! Outbreak of another war.. i have tuition to give then, how bu fang xin i also had to leave to teach my student. I have my committments to fufill as a tutor, i cannot just absent myself one lor. So, i told Joanna to look after the situation, then left.. I won't deny, another is i do hope to get out to breathe a bit, cos i felt that was really hard at home then. Guess, i've been afftected by the war at home in the morning, my facial expression -- the drained and tireness on my face gave how i felt away. First thing, Charmaine saw me ask me if i'm fine.. Really touched to have such caring students. I needed somemore to talk.. so start of our tuition was more of my su ku to her, of cos i extended her timing la. Charmaine then offered her place, tell me if need can bring jeanie go her house for refuge if required, really touched wor... thereafter, had to go to NUS open house.. the whole day i knew, nite time is surely got to mian dui the situation however much i dun want to de..

Much happened after i left home for tuition.. this part, i just heard from Joanna since she just came home. Guess, she ren wu ke ren to what mum has been doing to Jeanie -- driving her to go die. To try protect Jeanie, guess, too heated argument must have been going on as the usual war is.. the Joanna told mum straight in the face, she is mental and need a xin li yi shen.. if she still contiue driving Jeanie to go die, then will get IOH to come get her. I can imagine what's mum reaction was then, must be even more hopping mad. This one, hmm, how to say leh. I think i very pei fu Joanna for her yong qi, give me i will not dare to say one lor. Though, really we have felt long time ago that mum needs a xin li yi sheng, maybe not so much then about mental, but cos her thinking quite wobbed at times, and very cai bu cai.. thus, always war after war, and the poor innocent parties will be us suffering at the end of the day, from emotion trama, feeling upset and crying... but, often even nicely tell her to go see on, her fang yin also very da.

Jeanie must have felt really hurt this afternoon, and once again xiang bu cai. Looks like mum really driven her to the brim again. Joanna said, she tried to attempt sucide with penknife, lucky joanna stopped her in time. Thereafter, she went to the kitchen trying to get knife to kill herself. Yet, mum was still like, go die la. She like that say infront of jeanie, still daring her to commit sucide. Goodness, why mum reaction like that one, she dun care if her daughter dies, i still want my sister one leh. Understandable, why joanna will scream and lose control in telling mum she is mental le.

Joanna sms me, told me.. pt is want be to be mentally prepared for what is to come at nite.. indeed her fears and worries not unfounded, i just suffered the blow of the war, which is why i felt the need to blog now to jie fang my xin qing or else i fear how long more i can stay normal having to face this type of situation now almost daily. Hurt, upset, wu nai, yuan wang is what i'm feeling now lor..

Joanna know this afternoon she like that say to mum, is start a war with her le, so didn't want to come home early to avoid more fricion. Aunt Sandra, Uncle Steven and Joanna have done lots to help try make Jeanie feel better in the afternoon, thus allowing her to go out with her friend to watch the huan cheng to forget about the current dire straits of things... at the moment..

Actually, i did contemplate whether i should also avoid home and come home late like them. Janice was with me the whole day, we went to NUS together after my tuition. Having a best friend like her, i really very xin wei and xin fu. She knows what i've been going through, all these while giving me the support, even at times help me counsel Jeanie, since jeanie also know her a bit ma. Yup, offered me her home for refugee should i require, yet, i was really too tired le. Wanted to stay out late with her so can avoid all, but got no energy to do so, i needed rest, sleep, something which i've lacked for the past days. The feeling of faintness is something i'm still experiencing which i've been keeping mummed about. Despite all happenings, what i find myself most xin fu about is that i really have a number of friends that really cares for me, lending me a listening ear, giving me the moral support, be it msn-chatting, phonecalls or asking me out knowing how i dread the feeling at home these days etc... really xie xie all le. Only worries i have now is that, hopefully i did not burden them down by my troubles. I'm not one that like to ma fan ren, and dun hope pple worry for me also. I will be fine, i will try, with all the supports you all (my friends) give me, i'm sure i will be able to cope with the worse of worst situation...

Perhaps, wo zhen de heng sha. I should have stayed out with Janice, then won't shou shang now le. Becos, i still never managed to get the rest i hope to get by going home. Being the only one at home, when mum and dad came back, i was her only target.. automaticately, i was shot! I was blamed for all that happened this morning. Her accusation is that i never tell them about what went on on friday, the doctor visit. Wo mei hua shuo le, is not cos i have nothing to rebut her. But, i know now is like 'say what, wrong what'... In mum's dictionary, she is always right, cannot possible be wrong one. So no point arguing with her also. So, I kept quiet, and ren shou and bear with all the scoldings, screamings and blames she wants to shoot me with. My tears cannot stop flowing then, my heart ached. Seeing my efforts of trying to help and upon seeing results, now the person who destroys all, says its all my fault why things are not turning out right, and why war this morning took place. Not being appreciated for all i've done, i'm still okay, yet, why blame me for something, i'm also an innocent party lor...

What i never tell her Jeanie's situation or about the vist to the doctor. Pls la, i told her like countless times, dun agitate Jeanie, dun pressurise her. Let her take one step at a time, yi bu yi bu lai to jie shou.. cos, her mental state is very weak and have lost hope. So pls... It all seems now, mum has not been listening to what i've been telling her about. As Usual, she is right, i'm wrong. So what else can i say now??

Cannot say anything. Kept quiet, let her scold and push blame on.. still not enough leh, she's not happy still. Maybe i dun look convinced is my fault is it? But, i really feel very yuan wang lor. Keep quiet dun rebutt her, is cos i dun want to extend the war.. i need peace, i need rest, can she understand a not? Fine, I knew i had to admit yes, its my fault before she will stop shooting at me and give me a minute of break.

Tong xin, yuan wang, nan guo.. I supressed all my feelings, in tears apologise and as she desired and want me to do, admit is my fault that i never tell her about the situation.. thereafter, walk away. Peace never returned as i've hope for, just that the screamings now no longer directed at me, but in general... My tong ku, xin suan only now then can tu chu here.. at last after writting so much, then i start to feel bit better..

I can only ren ming got such a mum. When normal, still okay. Yet, when mental really sometimes her actions is like taking a knife piercing through your heart. The personal attacks, words, violence is one that really will hurt u de. At least, it really do shang wo, till its pian ti ling shang. Shang tong, tong xin, nan guo.. is like a guo cheng u just got to go through each time a war outbreaks, esp. major ones like today.

I really feel she needs a xin li yi sheng, or else mum contiue on this way, soon all of us will go mental one lor. Ren, I can ren, but, i cannot guarantee how long more i can cheng shou le...

Now, jeanie and joanna is home.. i hope they all felt better after going out, cos i can imagine the 'drama' that went on in the afternoon then.. nite time, guess its rotation, my turn to cheng shuo. Otherwise, if all just one person cheng shuo, the person surely will beng kui, we got to share the burden ba.. what to do?

Once again now, i only can hope situation will get better with time and not worse le.. I need to breathe.. I need rest... I need peace...

Lots to say.. yet no energy to say..

2006-03-12T02:43:00.000+08:00

A Mixed Entry?

Today went to NTU open house, goodness NTU is really located very wulu wulu leh. 20 MRT stops from Serangoon, thereafter got to take bus somemore, really can say is take ages to reach there. Can imagine if go there, going to and fro will make me sian enough le, and too tired when home..

Spoke to the students at NTU, the accounting student said well my grades still stand a chance to be accepted thus i should try. Indeed, without trying and giving up is very silly lor. Rejected the most go appeal later ba, but hopefully dun need to lor. Appeal, now i hear this word then frightened le, been travelling round Spore earlier this wk to help Jeanie with her appeals lor, sadly to little success still.. hai!

Staying at hostel sounds quite fun, only problem is fear have to participate in too many activites before we stand a chance to keep the hostel lor. Also, hmm.. unless both Janice and I gets into NTU and she wanna stay there too, then think i will apply ba. Otherwise, if anyhow allocate room-mate, heard many horror stories regarding that already, can say scared le... Staying hostel to me got more benefits other than just the distance problem lor, it can help me isolate myself from the problems at home, that never seem to cease.. these endless problems have been really draining and making me very tired!

Tired, Tired, Tired! Wo zhen de lei le, yet why my ge xing just cannot dun care about it. Sometimes, i really hope i can guan zhi yan bi zhi yan, but like that abit wu qing also leh. Really is mao dun, confused! Jasmine ah, now can only yi bu yi bu lai.. hopefully, issues will resolve...

Holidays? Suppose to be de lor, yet events turned my supposed long holiday into a mess! Haha, quite a joke isn't it?

Oh, i really have too much to fa xie.. yet, now is like no energy to say.. wait lor, got energy then will spill all out, keep too much will explode de.

Tmr still got a long and busy day, going to another open house, this time its NUS. Hopefully, the house will be less of a mess, Jeanie will xiang cai yi dian.. all pls give me a break ba! All pls stop asking me how ah? why this will happen? what should i do? etc.. i'm already having a headache.. let me breathe ba. Xie Xie le!

Gan Dong yet Wei Nan..

2006-03-08T11:57:00.000+08:00

感动却为难。。

My dear students ah, you all really make me free very gang dong, yet very wei nan also leh.

Even before my A level results release ah, quite a number of them sms me to wish me luck, moreover 2 of my JC2 actually told me regardless of my grades, they will definitely still want me as their tutor. Then, i was really touched! Gan dong wor..

"I love my tutor" exclaims many of my students. Wah, they really is like pledging love for me like that, yong xin to teach them and knowing that they apprieciates me & my efforts, i really feel very gan dong and all the fu chu is zhi de one.

Yet, since my A level results release, i now headache is how to cope with all my students when Uni starts. Teaching all 8 of them surely is immpossible one, esp. if i study at NTU. Surely, i got to fan qi some, the most i can keep is 4 ba, even then it will be a great strain on myself, which mum is like siao ah.

Guess, my students also know the situation, they know i cannot keep all de. All started to ask/plead me not to drop them but contiue to teach them till their exams end this year. Frankly, I also hope very much i can lor. I do things like to you shi you zhong, bang ren must bang dao di type. Yet, under circumstances i really is have no choice, how bu she de, bu fang xin them, I still have to give up at least half of them..

I know my JC2s esp. are very attached to me and they are really nice to me also. Charamine, Inge, Anita esp since i've taught them each for at least a month le. Even, Amanda (Charamine's classmate) though only taught her one lesson to date, she too is a very nice and hardworking gal.

Teaching Charamine, I guess her change of attiude towards Maths and improvements really gives me alot of man zhu gan. Still remember when i first taught her 3months ago, then her lecture notes and tutorials are all undone, she told me she hates maths. Yet, today she has turned into a quite hardworking gal and did start to do tutorials, sometimes even ahead of her class. Towards doing tutorial she now will zi dong zi fa, and tell me sometimes she do enjoy. I'm glad for her, and happy that she did heed my advice. I strongly believe that if she contiues on like these, getting an A at A levels is highly possible de.

I can tell she is really worried that i'll not be able to teach her when school starts. She told me how w/o me her maths now surely very jialat, so how also she really needs my help...

Anita is a very friendly gal, and is very concerned about her studies type. I can tell she seriously hope to excel. Her mum spoke to me and seriously hope i can help her till the A levels esp. since she is posted to India for work or something.. Anita too worries how if i dun help her..

Inge & Amanda, they all very hardworking students. Inge do have the flair for Maths, cos can tell from the way she does her Maths questions, she is quite perserving in wanting to get the ans. Teaching her and seeing her improvements for even better grades, i really feel happy for her.. They too hope and wish that i stay on and help them.

Aiyo, these few so nice to me esp. and are taking their A levels this year, really i hope to be able to help them to the end. If should i stop and result in them not doing well, i think i will feel very gulity one lor. I know they are very appreciative of my help, esp. so i feel very touched yet very wei nan also.

I still got an Econs student, 2 Sec4, 1 Sec3 students, 1 taking O level and the other N level at the end of the year. These students, do also had lots of improvements in their understanding of maths and grades. They are less nian on me, at least never say w/o me will cannot do type.. but, ask me to fan qi them i still is bu she de lor, but guess ultimately i might have no choice..

Whatever it is, I hope that should i have to leave any of my students, before i leave them I would have taught them through all they require for their exams.. like that then i can fang xin de leave also.. otherwise, i might see if got friends can help take over lor.

I never except myself to love my job as a tutor so much. Alot of times really the happy expression on their faces due to good grades, or from blur blur to comprehen ah, gives me the sense of satisfaction even pay day cannot bring about lor.

Guess, my friends and students are quite right, I will make a very good teacher. Yet, they also did say should i go into teaching, i will be very stressed out, cos i tend to be too jing zhe le.. But, shouldn't that be the case ma?

I always believe if want to do something, then must jin quan li and yong xin, otherwise, i would rather not do lor. Which is why current situation make me very wei nan lor...

How now? Think only can zhou yi bu suan yi bu le.. I'll try my very best to hold on to as many as i can when school starts.. yet, sometimes may be you xin wu li lor.

太多事的发生让我不能呼吸

2006-03-08T01:06:00.000+08:00

太多事的发生让我不能呼吸。。

Tired, tired, tired. Lately, really is feel body weak and feeling faint at times. Perhaps, is too many happenings these few days, thus jing sheng shang and physically all very drained out le. At last today, is feel that things are more settled, so decided to tu chu how i've felt for the past days here to jie fang my xin qing. Cos at home.. usual me only can put up a strong front that i'm fine. Dun want to add on to the already worrying situation and mess at home ma. Thats just me lor. Ha, ren ren ren is the best skill i've enquired over the years ba, but sometimes really is will suffer nei shang if over use this skill..

All happenings starts with screwed up MOE Posting..

From turmoils of worrying about A level results, i thought at last i can breathe a bit, relax and hao hao think through what path i want to embark on next on my life journey. Little did i expect, Jeanie's posting will be like...

IJC, goodness i've never ever heard of that JC till then lor, somemore its in Woodlands, nearer to Malaysia than our home leh. Early in the morning on friday, Jeanie woke me up and tell me she got posted there, then i thought i was still dreaming or something.. qi tian pi li news indeed. Poor jeanie, once again after the blow of her unexpected O level grades, she got to mian dui this. Reality has indeed been very harsh on her. Hai! Of cos, she cannot jie shou, and broke down again..

As her sis, i also very fei jie why will post her there lor. Pls la, her grades though 13pts not fantastic, is still above average grades, somemore she is an LEP student and got 4pts bonus type. Definitely deserve a better school than this. I knew only hope to change is through appealing le, yet she is not at very clear state as to what to do, so i got to help her of course. Trouble lies with the sudden what no ink situation of the printer.. really qi si ren, what a timing lor. Lucky, all i managed to settle and then went with her to the different JCs to appeal. In my mind, i was thinking, any JCs is also better than this wulu one. Yet, i know Jeanie won't be able to accept all ba.. but, practical solution still is best try lor.

MOE, really this is screwed up! Service there really is terrible, make u wait for hours. Our request to see the LEP in charge, was like not entertained till we threatened to call the press to come. Many of hours were wasted there, yet at the end of the day, they are really not helpful. Thus, that day's appeal only mananged to go to 2 JCs..

Knowing Jeanie's character, i know this happening surely have hurt her pride alot. MOE really like put her at heaven (HCI) then throw her to hell (IJC), really is JC of world's apart standards. Have they wondered such an arrangment will hurt the students? Affect their interest in studying? Well, if doing well and scoring will still end up as such, then pple will start question the purpose of studying hard and excelling isn't it? At least, Jeanie is lor. She starts to fan qi on studying, feel the lost in purpose etc. really as her sis, i can't help but worry for her. The last thing i wanna see is her zi bao zi qi and fan qi on all. She nows feels her future is bleak, and have lost hope for the better, at times her thoughts get bit sucidial i feel. I can quite li jie her xing qing, yet really is hope she will xiang cai with time...

On Monday, of cos is went to more schools to appeal. The more appeals done, the higher the chance to change her fate into having to go to IJC. Well, for one she is definitely not going there lor, she dun want, this time even mum & dad feels siao ah to travel so far to that JC. Thus, only hope is another JC will accept her..

Doing counselling really not easy, going to appeals is like going all round Spore like that, not forgetting i got lots of tuition to give.. so really is jin shang and ti li shang all very lei. To the situation, i feel bit wu nai..

Sometimes, i feel that the problem maybe is not that big, if Jeanie can fang xia sheng duan to jie shou other JCs that are more 'normal'.. yet, being her sis and understanding her ge xing, its really very hard. Thus, a solution in our eyes, may not be one in her eyes. Afterall, its her studying, if she dun want its hard to forced her also. I always feel studying got to be zi dong zi fa type, cannot forced de.

Yet, of course i understand.. fa sheng this type of things, really is hurt her alot. I now really only hope for the best for her, may she learn to jie shou reality, and find back hope in things.. hopefully, really things will come better for her in the near future..

I still have alot alot more to write, but too tired to contiue...my another headache is my uni-application essay which i have no ling gang to write, and my students.. they really is make me feel very gan dong, yet very wei nan.. Will say more the next time why lor.. Now, think going to find zhou gong to chat le.

A level results -- Confused feeling!

2006-03-02T01:48:00.000+08:00

A level results -- Confused feeling!

Zui nan ao the period is over.. the results now is known and is a fact le. My grades not fantastic, average ba. I got A for CMaths, B for Econs, C for FMaths, C6 for GP, A1 with dist. for AO Chinese, Band 1 for project work...

Upon seeing the results when Mdm first pass it to me, I got no much feeling about it. Neither happy nor sad. Dissappointed with GP though, never expect it to do that badly, yet relief lucky it never fail or else..

For F Maths, though C ah, its already a great improvement from forever F grade that i got for 2 years. Should be contented le ba.

AC this year did very well, alot of 3-9As students. Many seem to have done very well this year, at least friends around me seem to be getting lots of As. Whatever, ren bi ren will qi si ren. I'm a ren not a shen, i know my limits.. and know i already is jing quan li at studying le, should have no yi han le ba. Though, sad at times.. why my quan li can only bring me thus far.. yet, maybe my strength not so much in studies ba.

Will this grades bring me to where i want to go ah? This is my greatest concern now. If it can, then just let this be of history lor. Already a fact, now must jie shou and move on... dwell over it also got no use le.

Though, really is very average results, yet its my xin kou de cheng guo le, i dui de qi zi ji. Studies is for myself, not anyone else, so let what others wanna say, say ba.. though, Mdm and Sir must have been very disspointed, cos i never do as well as they expected me to.. hai!

Aiya, really tired le. So many sleepless nites of worries and nitemares. Think should hao hao sleep one nite, then got fresh mind to think of what journey i should embark on next.

Xi Wang Xi Wang really is can make it into NTU Accounting le...

In less than 12hours.. the A Level Results will be Out..

2006-03-01T01:38:00.000+08:00

In less than 12hours.. the A Level Results will be Out..

Wo xian zai de xing qing, yi pian hun luan..

Dan xin, Dan xin, Zhen shi fei chang dan xin..

Zhong yao mian dui de, tao bu diao. Tian ah, what will my results be like? Will it be qing tian pi li for me to jie shou, or will my hardwork be paid off. Hardwork dun guarantee success, this dao li i understand. Nevertheless, I do hope to see the fruits of my labour. Studying till no day no nite during the preparation period, I really feel I really is jin li le. Yet, like that got use ma? I really dunno lor. Only is hope jin li le, will have no yi han later.

But, if the results later is terrible ah, really will be very nan yi jie shou lor. Put in so much efforts, really will feel very tong xin if don't do well. Worse is, this time results the yin xiang really very da lor. Uni, cannot say cos results bad then anyhow choice a course and study, like that will indirectly affect working life one lor. If not, now then i won't so xin kou feel so jialat and worried le.

I'm not asking for all As type of grades la. I know that will be quite a mission impossible. But, C Maths for sure got to be an A lor. Hopefully, a miracle will dawn upon my F Maths let it get at least a C ba. Econs, hopefully fair well too. Of course, GP got to be a decent pass, otherwise.. the whole cert would be a fail already. An average B cert is good enough for me lor. Somehow, my expectations have gone lower and lower by the days. Dun know is it I don't dare to ask for more, worried and fear qi wang yue sheng, shi wang yue da. Less yao qiu, later easier to jie shou ba. Is like that ma? I really dun know what's my thinking le.

For the whole day, I've not been myself. Very lost in thoughts about the results release... Hai! Initially, thought giving continous tuition will help me dread energy and divert me away from thinking. Who knows, my chip suddenly today so steady, can multi-task, half teach half think. In the end, go home best so eaten up by thoughts, that dun know took what bus, and ended up where also... Aiyo..

Dun know is hope time pass faster or slower now, only feel that the stuck in btw feeling really is eating me up and making me feel very nan shou and nan ao.

The worse scenerio of the whole thing is a retake of A Levels is it? Remembering once Steady ask me I study for who. Very clearly, all these years I study for myself. Why will so nu li, also is hope to dui de qi zi ji, and have no yi han. What others say, I'm confident i can ignore, afterall the mouth is theirs i got no right to restrict what they say also ma. Problem is, can me myself jie shou? From young, my yao qiu from myself always quite high, guess thats why will often feel stress...

But, Mdm and Sir all have very high expectations on me, they have faith that i will do well, I really do not hope to dissappoint them, also well not dissappoint myself. Hard to forget the remarks Mdm wrote on my report card: it states that I'm a very promising student. Also, how though I got F for F Maths at prelims, usually teachers will write to study harder. Yet, Mdm wrote she believes that I should see this as a challenge that I can comfortably handle. Really I feel very touched by the faith she has in me. Thus, the more I feel the need to prove her words right..

What can i do now to stop myself from thinking. My brain today is completely out of hand, hope not to think liao.. wah, the more it think towards that direction..

Really is hope whatever happens I can be jian qiang yi dian to mian dui and try jie shou also. Unexplainable why i feel so especially insecure this time, the bu xiang yu gan very much stronger than usual.. Is it becos of what i seen that happen to Jeanie? Or what the xiang shi told me early this year? OR.. its just the usual jue fa zhi xin xing de me? Dunno leh. Brain and thoughts in a mess..

Xi wang, and now really is hope for the best.. Really really, may i see the fruits of my labour last year, and be spared a shock that will make my heart sink down..

我不该想这么多！

2006-02-28T13:52:00.000+08:00

我不该想这么多！

有些事情的结果如果影响那么大，在未真正知道结果前，其实最辛苦！这真是我现在的写造。但知道结果后，会不会更？？？

A Level的成绩快出来了，3月1日会是怎样的一天呢？明天，我会得到我努力的成果吗？还是，天会倒塌呢？我真的不敢想象。因为，我明白很多事情往往不是自己努力了就可以，需要的东西太多了。就因为这样我才担心。。。

读书，我一向来十分努力，因为我知道自己没有Joanna, Jeanie那么聪明。希望考到好成绩，除了努力，还是努力。再说，我的人生哲理是：无论做任何事都一定要尽力，不可敷衍了事，我不希望见到结果后才来后悔没自己没有不够努力，一定要对得起自己。我不想有后悔的余地。。。

这次也不意外，我日夜不停的读。不管多难熬，多么辛苦，我并没有放弃！我坚持到底！当然也要感谢给精神上支持的朋友，让我有力量走下去。。。

可能是自己给自己的压力太大了，才会如此的担心。成绩并非所有，只是生活的一部分-- 这个道理我明我白。只是这次的成绩的影响真很大，它将决定我可不可以考上大学。。。

嗨！明知到想再多了也无法改变我要面对的实事，成绩已成定局，不是吗？是的。可是，不知为何，我就是无法不想它，尤其是越接近，想得就越多。我好像没法控制我的脑了。。

天啊！我不该想这么多！

Bei Fang Fei Ji De Yi Tian..

2006-02-27T16:46:00.000+08:00

Bei Fang Fei Ji De Yi Tian..

Aiyo, today is a fly aeroplane day ah. Ha, today suppose to be a tuition marthon day ah with 3 students in a row, since i took a week's break last week off to Shanghai for holiday. Ha, while eating lunch today, one call and start to wanna re-shedule.. thereafter really is make me very luan as to how to fit everyone timing. So blur, till ha, me accidently sent sms to the wrong person, become sent msg to a friend. So peiseh, very funni also lor. Haha!

Aiya, went through quite a hassle at last settle the sheduling liao, then my dearest students all today now cannot make it. Ha, my friends all xian mu my tutoring income alot, haha, actually is very not stable lor. But, today mostly why i'm not so happy, not so cos income not stable, but, give tuition will drain my chip power, let me no time to think about 1st March la. Now, all fang wo fei ji last min... make me now so free, then my minds start to wonder again la..

Dun know why leh, SAT registration like dissappear liao. Last time went in they say its tmr last day one leh. Is it ming zhong zhu ding, maybe i should not take that test, and just set my mind on NTU Accounting, instead of considering SMU also leh. Dunno leh.

Hai! Nevermind la, hopefully now is sai weng shi ma, yan zhi fei fu. Look on the brighter side of things, becos all fang wo fei ji, now can meet my bestfriend, Janice for dinner liao and pass her stuff i got for her at Shanghai. We wanna meet up before 1st March ma, to chit-chat lor.

The tuition marthon day has been transfered to tmr. Hopefully, it can help occupy the day so that i got no time to think of...

Shanghai Xiao Chi & Tea House..

2006-02-27T16:13:00.000+08:00

Shanghai Xiao Chi & Tea House..

Went to Cheng Huang Miao for half a day. Went to "Yu' Po Lu" for the Shanghai Dian Xin, wah... the su there really very jin zhi and nice to eat wor. Sadly, too engrossed eating liao, forgot to take pictures of it lor. The hu lu su, gui hua la gao etc. really worth a try. Ha, this place how we decided to give it a try, is through our food research before we went de. Really, quite nice place to eat..

Thereafter, shop and shop a bit. That day's weather really super cold, so we went to "Hu Xin Ting" to drink cha. Ha, this was the place that queen Elizabeth drank tea before also leh. Nice ambience ma, by the lake. The "Chai Ye Dan" that comes with the tea very nice lor, the ru wei the taste.

Look at the Hua Cha, nice hor. Special right, not only give u the wei dao xiang shou, also beautiful to look at lor..

Gino Cafe.. our choice for Supper @ Shanghai

2006-02-27T16:08:00.000+08:00

Gino Cafe.. our choice for Supper @ Shanghai

Gino Cafe is a restraunt very near Peace Hotel, almost every nite will go there to makan supper and enjoy the ambience of the place, got nice music too ma. Food there esp. love the "Xun Yi Cao" Freezy drink! Wah, love the smell of it esp., like and refreshing feeling is what u get just in one mouth.

The mouth-watering pizza is another great try there. Too bad ah, no photo of that leh. Yet, despite being super food after dinner, we still manange to finish the pizza wor..

Day at Shanghai Filled With Adventure...

2006-02-27T15:20:00.000+08:00

Day at Shanghai Filled With Adventure...

On the 2nd last day, Jeanie and I went to shop ourselves. Mum went with dad to do business, so we were all on our own. Haha, actually prefer like that also lor, if not sometimes mum can get too naggy about things i cannot understand.. yet, at times i know its for our own good la.

Ha, we all set off to "Xu Jia Hui", there got alot of shopping buildings ma, yet, me is wanna go there and find this 'yi cha yi zuo' place to drink the 'bubble' tea lor. Had that 2 years back, it was great ma.. yet, this time like not as good as before leh. But, we shocked the gal taking our orders.. cos we ordered this Hong Dou Bing Shang, that was meant for alot of pple to eat de. Yet, there was only 2 of us, and we got other orders too lor.

Most of our time was spent at "Fu Zhou Lu", thats where the Shanghai Shu Cheng is at. There alot of book stores. Jeanie's aim of coming Shanghai, one is to shop and buy lots of books lor. So shopping for books this is the best street liao.

Not forgetting "Qiao Jia Ren", that store 2 years back i bought the Qiong Yao shows, only here have ma. Also, bought a liang zhu show, sadly till now no 2nd part leh. Wah, stuck halfway really not shuang la. Wow! Here, really must commend on their service leh. In the hotel the nite before, on one of the channels we watch this drama serial, so hope to get it. Yet, aiya we never remember the tittle lor. So, only managed to tell them its a show playeds last nite. The shop service really is mei hua shou, they very re xing leh, cu dong the whole shop personnels to help us find the show. Even cashier got to help search TV guide wor. Impressing hor? I was impressed lor, lucky at the end, hardwork not wasted.. we found it at last..

After shopping many booksstores, we got enough liao la, so went to makan. Came across this restraunt again is 2 years back got go in eat before de, still can rememeber it has good molten chocolate cake. So went in and eat lor. Aiyo, felt like "Free Exhibits" leh, dun know why but all the personells there kept staring at us and some laughing. We very funny meh? I know then i took of my jacket, and was wearing like a T-shirt inside, weird la considering winter. But, also not against the law ma. Or too shocked at how small size we are, yet order so much food? Haha, who knows why ah, just dun like the feeling that so many eyes staring at us lor.

The great adventure begins after meal at this place. Aiyo, Fu zhou Lu very hard to hire a cab leh. We waited freezing and carrying the very heavy bags of books, waited for like 20minutes still no cab leh. So, at the end bo bian, I suggested we walk back to our hotel lor. Wah, me very lu chi type leh, somemore is first time free and easy at Shanghai, not Spore leh. But, hai hao i dared to venture, or else who knows what time we will ever get back to the hotel lor. Stared hard at the Ming Zhu Tar - that has been the landmark i used to navigate to find way back to Peace Hotel, bit like the Northern Star to me. Walk and walk, wah.. really is cold, tiring.. and filled with uncertainity dun know can get back to hotel a not. Every few streets then ask for direction to double check... At last, yup, found the hotel le, after close to half an hour. Wah, really is leg and hands want to break liao, freezing inside also. So, tat nite never eat with mum and dad too though suppose to cos we too tired le.

Afer resting till our limbs got zhi jue le, we then went out to Nanjing Dong Lu, the bu xing jie, there the Bai Lian Shi Mao Shooping Centre and malls at the back, we haven't finish shopping yet.. So, took the 'to to train' from front of jie to end of it. No energy to walk there liao la. Ha, then there we shop for clothes.. treated like VIPs at one of the stores. We also went Ice-skating for a while leh, at Xin Shi Jie Shopping centre. But, never skate long la, the ice they never mo, we very not used to it, so just a while then we left liao. Yet, haha fun experience la.

Finally, is go makan desert lor.. Haha, our days there, Gino Cafe is our fav. hangout to supper. Nearest to our hotel, and good ambience there also, most importantly is no smoke there leh...

Really was an Adventure day, quite fun lor, though extremely tiring for our poor legs..

The Short Shanghai Trip..

2006-02-27T14:40:00.000+08:00

The Short Shanghai Trip..

Going to Shanghai, that was a very last minute decision made by mum and sis. It was a short trip, from 19Feb Monday nite to 24Feb Friday, less than a week. Go there, guess main purpose was for Jeanie to forget the accident grade incident that hit her very hard. As for myself, i wanna go and shang xin and let hope can stop myself for worrying over the A level results release that is really soon lor, 2 more days..

Not first time going to Shanghai le, the other time was 2 years back, then other than Shanghai also toured Su Zhou, Hang Zhou, Nanjing etc. Difference lies in this time is free and easy trip, the other time was with tour.

Took nite flight there, so reached there about 7plus. This time stayed at Peace Hotel (He Pin Fan Dian), quite a nice hotel la, good location at Nanjing Dong lu - alot of shopping nearby. Just by walking can reach the Nanjing Bu Xing Jie liao. So first day, yup shop around the hotel.. yet, shou hou bu shao. First thing eat here, is at this la mian dian, food hai hao la, not say excellent cos bit too salty liao.

Aiyo, Shanghai give me the most lasting impression is really their roads leh. "Ma Lu Ru Hu Kou", really is guo ma lu need yong qi lor. Scary one leh, its double side type of roads, yet even if its green man indicating pple walk ah, cars still contiue to chiong one leh. Even on streets ah, also can suddenly have bicycles, cars cut in one, quite sia ren lor. Haha, comparing to Spore, really is world's apart. Ours here is cars rang ren, there is ren must rang cars. Heard that there ah, if die of accident, most is just pay $20,000 leh. Our life worth so little ah? Is the thought i have been pondering about.

Ha, Shanghai Advertisiments quite lame one leh, some quite cute though - very direct ma. The lame types ah, like to play on tong yin zi lor. One example which i saw on TV is " 药材好，要才好!".

Oh yes, got this quite jian zha experience. It was an incident after dinner while trying to get a cab back to the hotel. Aiyo, the group of pple wanted to 'fight' cab with us ah, actually tried it by tricking as and saying: 'how this cab company more gui!' Haha! So funny, think tourit we hao pian ah? Even more ex, so cold leh, will still pay one lor. Afterall, we know they run by metres one la, so won't have much difference lor.

This trip is shopping quite alot, my shou huo not bad, bought a very nice jacket, pretty bag, clothes etc, personalised gifts for some of my closer friends, makan alot of food, quite fruitful lor. Yet, ppps, but getting the gifts made me realised my brain went on holiday w/o telling me, or my chinese standand just degraded again. Overall really is occupied, till really is acheived my aim of not thinking too much, so is got enjoy de!

Nite dinner mostly is eat with dad's friends. First nite, went to Huang Chao Hotel to eat, 2nd nite is ate with a restraunt's boss. Haha, then surely service excellent, cos eating with the boss ma. Ha, problem is often really order too much la, till i feel really quite wasted to have so much left over each meal. Yet, yup quite good food.

But, one thing i cannot tahan in Shanghai is the smoke pollution lor. The weather then was cold when we went, below 10 degrees one, I like cos i hate hot weather at Spore lor. We observe ah, like every meal av. one person got to smoke at least 3 cigragrettes lor. Every table at least got one person is smoking de. Aiyo, so can imagine the 'haze' created and the air. Aiya, me hate smoke smell one lor, irritates my nose ma. Yet, if we view from entrance of the restraunts ah, is can see the 'haze' difference one leh. Really is like "Smoke gets in your eyes" le.

Got some conflict here and there along the way, most jialat one was when mum dropped Jeanie's favourite bag lor. Lucky, later got resolve, if not then will have WW3 again, then i will feel very wu nai again...

A Different Concert Experience..

2006-02-27T01:19:00.000+08:00

A Different Concert Experience..

Ha, me just came back from the Chong Fong 5 Concert at Esplanade. If one ever wondered why i would go, i think main reason is go support a friend (Jinfa) la, who is very steady and shi li pai lor. His tan zhi sheng gong really very gao jing jie. Yet, after going for the concert, I feel really is worth it lor. The tickets not cheap leh, though i bought the cheapest one la. Budget tight ma.

This yan chang hui got singers from overseas like Taiwan etc, and TCR Singapore singers. Songs range they sing wide lor, haha, but most of the songs me is like first time hearing them. Bit different generation ma, but i can appreciate nevertheless. The host and singers all have great sense of humour, haha, so not only singing entertains, their speech also funny.

Think the most Steady part of Jinfa, is when two overseas singer wanted to sing a song that was not pre-planned. The orchestra could not play the song ah, yet he knows what song and played his guitar lor. Steady leh! Very impressing lor.

Only problem was the seating. Aiyo, esplanade the seating really werid. Its a top side way type of seats. If say lay back what u view will be the pple across and not the stage lor. So bo bian, if wanna see the stage ah, got to lean on the handles in front, duration long then back bit suan and hands bit tired. Stage still only is 3/4 can see only, and screen ah, half lor - got bottom no top de. Haha, so tonite my ears very enjoy yet think hands and back complaining liao.

Nevertheless, since its a singing type of concert, audio sound more impt ba, so nevermind lor. Haha, next time buy more ex. tickets than won't have such problems lor. During half time break, got pple complained outside, a poor personnel got scolded lor, for the screen not being able to see. I quite tong qin that guy leh, not his fault also lor, its esplanade seating la.

Overally, really is got enjoy lor. A very different experience for myself ba, different explosure to the songs, yet yup i can appreciate them la. Gong xi TCR for the success of the concert lor, cos it was a full house wor.

Got Man Zhu Gan wor..

2006-02-18T02:36:00.000+08:00

Got Man Zhu Gan wor..

Happy Happy, delighted for myself and my student. Ho, first thing she tells me when i gave her tuition today was: she topped her class for C Maths. Great! Its a fantastic improvement, with very good grades leh. I feel a great sense of man zhu gan. Of course, not my gong lao zui da, she is a hardworking student also lor. But, teach her only 4 lesson, got this type of cheng ji, i really happy for her and for myself also..

Today is friday, the tuition marthon day. Give tuition to 3 students all in a row, from 1pm to 8plus pm. Haha, really is brain dead by the time its the last tuition for the day. Yet, somehow tired as i am, i feel happy and did enjoy. Esp. whenever my student from blur dun understand, to know how to do all.. really is got sense of satisfaction. Today, also got one pay day leh.

Ha, now together I got 7 students. Think, perhaps is enough le ba. Not that i think i cannot handle more, if they can fit my shedule.. haha, mon-wed still quite free one ma. But, my worries is when uni starts lor. Then, fang ren fei ji, not so good la, esp. since alot of my students JC2 leh. So better don't hai ren like that..

Hee, i love my job as a tutor, it gives me man zhu gan. My students, all so friendly and nice, think come june/july when i got to stop giving tuition, I will feel very bu she de lor...

Just hope by then, all of them will have already received the fishing rod, and have lian cheng the diao yu de wu gong that i have been trying to chuan shou to them these months..

I am feeling Lost..

2006-02-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

I am feeling Lost..

I feel my chip is lagging, this few days i often stone at blank space. Very deep in thoughts, yet don't exactly know what i am thinking about also. Weird leh. I like a bit mi lu, yet, dun know what exactly is the problem lor.

Lately, too many things happen around me.. I have alot of things that require me to think about also. A level results is one, whether to take SAT a not is another, how to help resolve this and that, find and regain peace at home, check out on Uni- courses, re-read my econs to teach tuition, re-shedule tuition due to sudden overseas plan, go back to AC to help out in funfair etc.. Wah, so many things i really is blur le. Like confusing my poor chip leh.

Long time no really exert my chip, now suddenly all come at once.. I really is cheng shuo bu liao le. Especially, to the jia ji quan bu ning, that one is worsing everything, cos that one i completely wu nai and cannot control much. Just got to ren, ren, ren! Think my ren gong must be zui gao jing jie le. But however high it can be, I am still a human, is still got limit de.

I feel my brain very blank blank leh. How ah? What I am suppose to do what now? Who can tell me whats wrong with me ah? Very jialat leh, I really is bu zhi shuo zhuo. Now, for some reason, even on MSN ah.. alot of pple online, i chat with friends halfway, also go into stonning mode. Is chip switch off ma? If so, why i can't find zhou gong leh? Or it just went to sleep mode, with all my programmes -- thoughts on ah?

Really is feeling lost? I know i long don't have sense of direction type, but last time never like that before. At least, not to the extent I don't even know whats wrong with myself. Must be i xiang tai duo to all the things, till my chip corrupted and blur le...

How ah?

Ming Yun Zhuo Nong Ren?

2006-02-14T01:18:00.000+08:00

Ming Yun Zhuo Nong Ren?

Last friday, was the O Level's results release. Oh, I hate to know that lor, not becos I need to take results, but it implies that my A levels results will soon be out liao. Hmm, will the sky drop then ma?

Ming yun zhen hui zhuo nong ren. My xiao mei received her O level results then. Hmm, really is a shock guess not only to her, even i see her also dun believe its true lor. My sisters grades, be it elder or younger de, they very smart ma, so results are close to perfect scores type, just me la.. belong to the study very hard, yet results still only so so de.

Yet, who will ever expects that my xiao mei's forte subjects HCL, Chem and Bio, failed to get their A grade. Really is shocking leh! She is really good at these sub. and studies very hard for these lor. Hai! This happening, hai de her L1R5 no longer below 10points, which means staying in her dream JC is closed to a mission impposible le.

I can li jie why she find it nian yi jie shou. Guess, if u tell me then my A/E Maths never get A1, I will not believe too lor. Not becos, I think i am fantastic at Maths, but really is I put in alot of hardwork into it, and also quite good at these subjects. Put in hardwork, yet reap undesired results, really is very dissappointing and nian shou de, I'm often a guo lai ren of these, so can very much understand how she feels.

She really is cannot jie shou to the extend she attempted to zhuo sha shi, lucky teachers saw it early and prevented the bu xing from happening. Till now, she finds it hard to jie shou, cos she really love her current JC, and she has a strong sense of pride in her ma. I can understand lor.Only can say its an accident, ming yun zhuo nong her, let her go to her dream sch, yet now want her to leave..

See her so upset, really is as a sis, I feel very xin tong leh. Jialat is, I realised i find it hard to comfort her or give her good advices. Why leh? Think is somehow, scary leh, I find i can identify too much into how she feels le. Maybe, cos inside me I'm very worried about my A level results lor, so.. aiya, alot of things i want to tell her, me myself not very convinced even. I fear that if such an yi wai happen to me, how will I react leh?

意外的结局，难以接受。但已成事实的事，接受是唯一的办法了，不是吗？Hmm, this statment is true and got its dao li, just that often its easier said than done ba. Just hope, shi jian can help make her feel better and let her jie shou ba.

Yang Guang Zhong Zai Feng Yu Hou ma?

2006-02-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

Lately, dun know why but just like to listen to Xu Mei Jing's Yang Guang Zhong Zai Feng Yu Hou song very much leh. No doubt ya, this song has very nice tune, but i guess main reason is think i'm trying to convince myself this statement is true. Xi wang xiang xing you cai hong! And that there will be sunshine after the rain..

This two months, really is gone through quite a bit of feng feng yu yu at home, feeling is like yi bo wei ping, yi bo you qi. I'm really very tired of dealing with all these issues le. Wo xiang hao hao qiu xi. Let me breathe and take a break ba!

Alot of things, I've learnt is sometimes beyond's one control de. Really is like try how hard, yet the outcome factor may not be up to you, or jie ju may not be what you hope for also. Maybe this is called ren sheng de wu nai ba.

Just that for now, wo xi wang really is yang guang zhong zai feng yu hou. Let the feng yu be over, and let the sunshine take over ba..

But, truely I must say regardless of bu xing I can be facing, I am still xing fu de. Really is you xing to have many good friends, that lend me hearing ears, give gu li and jing sheng shang de ji chi thus allowing me not to beng kui, but jian chi dao di to mian dui all the bu xing. U all know who you are, really I want to say xie xie le!

Life as a Tutor..

2006-02-13T00:30:00.001+08:00

Life as a Tutor..

Oh, from a student i am now experiencing life as a tutor. Yet, life as a tutor really is very shiok still la. I do enjoy very much leh. Working hours very flexible, pay also very good. Most importantly is I love the man zhu gang I get when my students understand and scores well for their tests lor. This type of happiness, is fei mo bi ke yi xing rong de.

Really happy I must say when my flyers method worked out leh. The very first phonecall i got, that changed my entired tuition target group. Initally, I planned on only giving tuition for E/A Maths lor. So, for my adv. I only type I specialises in giving Sec sch Maths tuition. Yet, who knows it was a JC2 student that called me up. She asked if I can teach C Maths. Well, w/o a try before, I really is uncertain if I will make a good tutor. But, I decided to give it a try nevertheless, since my C Maths considered okay, quite good.. quite stressful actually leh, I just finish JC2, hard to imagine I am now more of a JC tutor isn't it?

Ha, up till date I have 6 students le. Lucky me, all my students are gals..easier to teach and all very friendly and nice to me, not problematic at all. Of which, 4 students I teach JC2, 1 Sec 4 (A/E Maths), 1 Sec 3NA Maths. Ha, i also give Econs tuition also wor, its a request I till now cannot tell right or wrong to agree also though. But, I will try my best to be a good tutor de. What I am really happy with myself is, my first student Charmaine, ha after my first lesson with her. Just within 2days, she called me to tell me her friend wants tuition from me too. Wow! Recommendation just after 1 lesson, that was like an affirmation that I can teach, I really felt the great sense of man zhu gang lor. Just lately, she recommended me another student again...smile:)

Lately, see that my student's mindset towards Maths has become less of dislike, instead they start to enjoy doing tutorials or started to practice Maths.. I really feel very happy, being able to inspire them a bit, is what i really hope to acheive lor. Really, hope with my help and their hardwork they will be able to do well at the end of the day!

Heee, working hours and days ah. Mine seem to only start from 3pm earliest, students got school in the morning ma, so I can chat with zhou gong in the morning. Haha! Shiok leh. Usually is Thursday to Sunday more busy, all 6 of them all not free on Mon-Wed de. So, offdays on Mon-Wed, find friends to go out shopping, makan, if not stay at home surf net, chat chat lor.

Ha, if ask me what i dun like about giving tuition. Hmm, I think one is the weather lor, like always zhuo dui with me one. Going out to give tuition surely will rain, then reached student's house, it will stop. When i go home that timing, start to rain again. I find it very ma fan to bring umbrella, so end up always borrow umbrella from students lor. Another, perhaps is when students like to fang wo fei ji last minute. A change in schedule due to sch is nan mian de, but say always last min. not so nice lor. Cos, my days planning will get very luan like tat, then end up alot of appointment with friends i am unable to confirm.

Haha, tuition queries ah extented even to msn/ calls leh. They very smart isn't it, but can help them I also very lei yi la. Just only, sometimes really is very lei dun feel like cracking brain le. Of yes, be tutor ah.. stresssful part is like take exam every lesson like that, student ask the question all must try to know how to do, and must be sure correct somemore lor. But, can be seen as a challenge also.. so i enjoy still...

Hmm, I got lao shi xiang ma? Lately, really is alot of friends ask me next time got think of becoming a teacher in future a not? Almost all my students asked me that too leh. Haha, I never really considered this option lor, I cannot imagine being stucked in school for life leh. Yet, I cannot disagree that i enjoy teaching also, esp. the man zhu gang of students understanding, from bu dong anything to understand everything.. really makes me smile:)

Job/ Student Search Experience

2006-02-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

Job/ Student Search Experience

Ha, no more school ah, i cannot possibly just slack at home 24-7 ma. As much as i want to be a zuo ge xian ren, haha, think within my ge xing i cannot tahan being a slacker de. Nothing to do, make me feel like ren sheng got no direction like that. Starting stage, I really is find myself very xin fu la, but duration long le, I start to find it very wu liao le. Nevertheless, I really do appreciate it lor. I know life ah, perphaps only this period will have such a long break, so I must xiang shou it...

Yet, now no school.. can say is almost everyday also go out, makan good food 3/4 de time, if not watch movie or shopping lor. Very shiok really, but this implies expenses very high also leh. But, now never go school i also bu hao yi si to ask my parents for $$ to spend also. So since free free, I decided to find job to gain some experience, past time so won't too free till wu liao and can get some pocket money also..

But, me very tiao ti leh. I want to find job that pay at least ok, want it to have flexible working hours so that I still will have my free time to go out with friends, rest and enjoy life lor. Hard to find job with all these requirements hor?Especially, since I at the moment only got O level cert (waiting of A level results ma), so temp. jobs the selection also not many lor. Mainly only admin, customer service, do surveys etc. all very long working hours, rigid lor, yet pay low leh.

Still remember, I started my job search in Dec 05. Then I already start to find that I cannot have completely nothing to do. So made a trip down to International Plaza, there got many job agencies so signed up with more than 10 of them. But, in the end I rejected all the job offers given to me lor. Why leh? Job scope, hours, pay not matching what i hope for..

In the end, decided giving tuition might be the ideal job for me, so started to call up tuition agencies from Classified ST, sign up online tuition agencies then. Ha, don't know how many agencies i called le, so many that really I lost track of numbers liao. Yet, no reply from them also, alot of them ask me why dun agree to teach primary school, if not teach Science together with Maths easier to find assignments. Yet, I just simply refused lor. Mum say i very gu zhi, like that sure cannot find students one. But, what i feel is its my yuan zhe here lor. I dun want to hai ren, i want to teach tuition not only for the money la, I hope to see my students excel ma. Therefore, I insisted on only giving Maths tuition for Secondary school, the most plus C Maths in JC. These have been my forte subjects, and I do still have my handwritten notes for them, plus experience in teaching these, so more confident that I can be a good tutor.

Okay lor, first method of searching for students failed. I decided to embark on my own method to find students, via. put up flyers to adv. Hee, of course I know this way not very legal la, yet i just wanted to give it a try. With help of xiao mei, we designed the flyer, then ah yi helped me to print many for free. Ho, she really print alot leh, till now I haven't finished pasting all out. Cut cut, then brought the flyers with me wherever I went out, started to paste at all bustops, blocks near my place lor. Later, even gave flyers out to letterboxes also.

I must say, I am very impressed at times, how determined i can get once i set my heart at doing something lor. I still rememebered how mum asked me i very que money ma, why bu ting de find job? Actually, no la. Its not money that i am most concern lor, just wanted to find something to do to make my time more meaningful and fruitful lor.

Ha, in the end.. this self method worked leh! I was really overjoyed. Even better also leh, like that find students dun have to pay the agent half of my first month's salary as commission lor.

Through, job search ah. I learnt alot also leh, actually say no job to do is not very true la. Its just to find the ideal job of which you enjoy and is satisfacted with all is really not easy lor. But, guess this is the life ba.

Sometimes, a dream just remains a dream is due to the harsh reality of life...

A Different Beginning...

2006-02-12T21:21:00.000+08:00

A Different Beginning...

Very different way to start the year. Ha, this year 3rd Jan did not have to go to school. No more uniforms, no longer need to sing marika every 7.30am, the close to an hour sleepy journey to school has transformed into comfort chatting with zhou gong on my silky bed.. Wo zhen shi xin fu wor! This was really my initial thoughts.

Yeah! Finally, i can break free from the routine and rigid lifestyle that I led for the past dunno how many years. Hee, guess this is the main reason why i simply refused to accept a 9 to 5 job, despite the many job offers i received. Of course, low pay and long hours is another reason for rejection. But, guess its the Freedom i am looking for here ba.

Yet, happy as I am. I do find this type of life bit weird leh. Why huh? Maybe is still yet to get used to it ba. No longer required to 'date' with books every nite, really is a great change from the past 12years. Instead, now my nite 'work' is 'MSN project'. Haha! Never realised how addictive the MSN can get lor. Last time, MSN was only for project purposes. Yet, starting from last sept 05, it has become a chatting and relaxation channel for me. But, it did add colours and cheerfulness in my life la. Now ah, MSN has become a very day sure will on thing lor. Amazing change isn't it?

2005 brought about alot of changes in me lor. All thanks to someone(TWL)'s journey, that lead me to get to know and made so many wonderful friends that really impacted me much. Me ah, from a very pessimisitic person, I have slowly be a bit more postive thinking, more lei guan and kai lang also. Ha, my skin haven't grown that thick la, but this has been feedback friends that known be for years tell me one. I must say, I'm happy about the change lor. "这一年，做过许多出乎我自己意料的事情，结识了几个好友，影响我很多。对生活的理解、态度有了新的认识。开心的，快乐的太多了，不能一一表述"

2006 this year, I really hope I can contiue to become more lei guan and kai lang, hopefully be able to open up a bit more also in ge xing. Keep too much to self, actually is really xin kou de, how much more i can cheng shou i will never know, till i outburst one day ba, maybe thats why I now choose to blog liao, instead of just keep my thoughts and all inside a word document. Ha, but this blog add, I don't intend to give away also, just let you yuan ren read lor.

From young, zi xing xin is something I have been lacking lor, maybe cos i always feel a bit zi bei to my sisters ba, considering how smart they are. Really hope, I can dui zi ji geng you zi xing. Also, more ren shi my own weak pts and know my strengths lor. To shi qing will be able to can cai dan and cai yi dian, like that will be more kuai le also.

Afterall, kuai le or bu kuai le re zi still got to live on ma, so why make life difficult for myself and choose to be bu kuai le leh? This zhi li ming yan, is my reflection after all the ren shen dao li i've heard from a friend lor. But, got dao li isn't it?

My greatest xi wang this year, is to be able to see my hard efforts put in last year for my A levels kai hua jie guo lor, then be ke yi pursue on my studies in Acc. in uni... This yuan wang will come true a not, soon will know le lor..